savory entree – Wait…are those…cookies?!

May 18, 2015May 18, 2015

A giant bowl of happy

A few days late but no less delicious. This was the other half of major food prep Sunday — an entire vat of red lentil dal. I love dal… it’s total comfort food and so satisfying.

Gingery, curry filled, and comfortingly mushy. And we all know I looove mushy food. This one does best with extra roasted vegetables and some chopped nuts and seeds over the top because texture is rad. Making this dish is super easy too, because everything just goes into the slow cooker after it’s prepped. Simple simple simple. I have to say, having a fridge filled with delicious things makes my Monday so much less Mondayish. Anything to alleviate the Monday yucks is fine by me.

And this dal did exactly that. We’re having a rather chilly May (totally fine with me, though rain would be nice too!), so cuddling up under a blanket with a big bowl of dal was exactly what I needed. That and finishing up the last Mad Men episode ever…. weird. It’s like the end of an era.

So make yourself a vat of dal, and cuddle up with your favorite furry friend. Do yourself a favor and indulge in some you – time!

Gingered Red Lentil Dal in the Slow Cooker

Gluten free, vegan friendly (with veggie broth), and totally hands-off. Prep everything, toss it in the slow cooker, and let it do it’s thaaang. No muss, no fuss, and SO delicious. Yield: a vat. 4-6 servings depending on the heapingness of your servings. Soul satisfying and soothing. I served mine with roasted radishes and greens. The recipe is adapted from Real Simple, here.

2 c red lentils, rinsed and picked through
5 medium Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and chopped into 1″ish pieces
1 medium yellow onion
a good glug of olive oil
1 clove of garlic
2 tsp curry powder (I like Madras)
2 heaping tsp minced fresh ginger
5 c low sodium chicken broth
2 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 1/4 tsp sea salt + more to taste
pepper to taste

In a 4-6 quart slowcooker, combine lentils, potatoes, onion, olive oil, garlic, curry powder, and fresh ginger. Add 1 1/4 tsp sea salt and a few grates of black pepper. Add the broth, and stir a few times to incorporate the spices. Cover and cook until the lentils are cooked and most of the broth is absorbed, about 4-5 hours on high or 6-8 hours on low. I cooked mine for 4 hours on high, and another on low and it was perfect. The dal will thicken as it cools, so a little leftover liquid is fine. Stir in the apple cider vinegar, and salt and pepper to taste. Serve over rice or naan…. or leftover roasted radishes and sautéed greens. Garnish with chopped cashews and pepitas if you’re feeling sassy (highly recommended)!

Makes excellent leftovers. Store them in the fridge or freeze for later.

November 28, 2014

Food fights and turkalurk

Happy Belated TurkaLurk Day! Gobble gobble gobble…

We did the usual Thanksgiving things but also did some really awesome things like 18 holes of frisbee golf and extreme ping pong and pie. Obvs. So weird. Pumpkin pie isn’t even my thing and I still can’t help but get all fancy. Whatever. It must be that extra baking gene I picked up somewhere in my travels to this particular incarnation.

Oh hi, we love whipped cream.

And then in attempting to use my parent’s favorite kitchen gadget (the Austrian whipped cream whipper they’ve had foreverrrr) at altitude, we laughed till our abs ached as the silly thing tried to explode and decant its contents violently all over the kitchen. No such luck, rouge whipper, we have your number and in no way are you going to be allowed to explode, no matter how much copious fizzing and spurting and hilariously juvenile noises end up emerging from your innards. In the end, a second batch of cream got whipped by hand but not before a mini food fight broke out. No big deal.

Also lentils.

I made this dish forever ago but never got around to sharing it, so I’ll do that now… which is rather fitting considering it’s made of lentils and despite the plethora of turkey currently sweeping the nation, I prefer lentils, thank you. So here you go, my non-turkalurk-eating-crowd, this is for you. And for me, come to think of it…

Happy Thanksgiving! I’m grateful for lots of things, up to and obvs including food. Gobble gobble…

Roasted Kabocha Squash Lentil Dal

Gluten free and vegan! Rather quick, if you preroast the squash and all that. I adapted the recipe from happy hearted kitchen, here! Hearty and perfect for winter comfort food without the heavy ick factor… Just a warming bowl of spicy lentils to keep you dancing and happy.

1 small kabocha squash
glug of olive oil
1 onion, diced
1 clove of garlic
2 heaping tbsp freshly grated ginger
1 tsp turmeric powder
1.5 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp cardamom
scant 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2-1 tsp sea salt, to taste
a few twists of freshly ground pepper
1 c red lentils, rinsed
1 yellow pepper, diced
1.5 c light coconut milk
4 c veggie stock
chopped cashews, Persian cucumbers and shredded coconut to garnish

For the squash: wrestle the squash and successfully cut it in halvsies. Preheat the oven to 400. Scoop out the squash seeds, and brush the insides of the squash with avocado oil (or another high heat oil would be fine here). Roast, cut side down, on a rimmed cookie sheet until the sides of the squash can be pierced with a fork, about 40 minutes. Remove squash from oven, flip over, and let cool until you can comfortably scoop out the puree.

In a large pot over medium, heat olive oil. Add diced onion and garlic, fresh ginger and turmeric, and sauté until the onions are translucent. Add a splash of water if needed if things get too dry or the spices are sticking. Toss in cumin, ground ginger, cardamom, cinnamon, a twist of pepper, and some sea salt, and stir to combine. Add rinsed and drained lentils and diced bell pepper, followed by the coconut milk and enough broth to cover the top of the lentils, and stir again. Bring to a boil (I covered mine and watched it like a hawk), then reduce heat to low and let it simmer covered for about 35-40 minutes. Remove the lid and stir in the squash puree. I purposefully left some chunks in mine for texture… You can blend it with an immersion blender here if you like, but I chose to leave mine as is—red lentils are so soft anyway that they’re pretty much perfect here. Season to taste with the rest of the salt and more pepper, if you’re spicy like me. Garnish with persian cucumbers, chopped cashews, and shredded coconut for fun!

Store any leftovers in the refrigerator. If it’s thickened up quite a bit when you go for leftovers, add a splash of broth and heat it back up on the stove (or leave it thick—I love it like that the next day).

October 30, 2014

Squash Wrestling Champ

You don’t even want to know my struggles yesterday involving a kabocha squash.

Well…

Maybe you do. They’re kind of funny.

Let me just preface this with a simple suggestion. Don’t ever ever ever go to jazzercise on circuit day and then expect to be able to wrestle open a kabocha squash for roasting purposes an hour later. Just don’t. It will end badly, with the knife stuck in the squash and your arms aching. Also that weird spot where your arm meets your body?? You know, not your armpit but in front of it?? Yeah. That is impossibly sore too, which means picking up squashes and putting them in the oven (as well as taking the heavy bottom of the food processor down from the ridiculous high place that it’s stored in), not to mention cutting them open, rather difficult. I FINALLY got that squash cut in half (a little unevenly but don’t you judge me) after quite the struggle. We’re talking two hands on the knife, full body weight bearing down on the stupid thing trying to make things happen. Safely, naturally. Those squash don’t give up easily, let me tell you…

I think I might actually be sore-er today due to squash wrestling yesterday. For reals.

Also I made so many things yesterday!! Day off + too much studying+ in between forcing myself to study + fall + pumpkin = bopping around in the kitchen all day! Which I love. Hello, kale chips out of the dehydrator, roasted and curried kabocha squash soup, and gluten free, vegan, date sweetened pumpkin cookies!!

Aside from all that, I have some other pretty pictures of stuff [food. obvs]:

Darling skillet brownie for two! Paleo, gluten free, vegan. From this:

To this!! Oops.

And cranberries! Hi Fall, I love you.

This soup is delicious. And I love kabocha squash (minus the difficulties of getting them open) for their bright orange color and sweet flavor. I actually like them better than butternut—there’s something about the flavor of the kabochas that is richer, or more caramelized? Anyway. They’re easy to roast—toss them in the oven (halved) on a lightly greased baking sheet for about 45 minutes, until they can be pierced with a fork easily. Take them out, flip them over and let them cool off… then scoop all that pureed goodness out and toss it in some soup. Or something. Like this:

Roasted and Curried Kabocha Squash Soup

Yield: a vat. I used this recipe from My Darling Vegan, but obviously used a roasted kabocha squash instead of pumpkin. I reduced the garlic to 1 clove but went heavy handed on the cumin and curry powder, and I blended in all of the cashew creme instead of saving some for topping. Delicious all around, I wouldn’t change a thing!

And then obviously you need some beta carotene to go with your beta carotene… and some cookies to follow up that soup sooooo…..

THESE happened. Obviously.

Date Sweetened Pumpkin Cookies

Vegan, gluten free, and refined sugar free! These cookies are soft, but not cakey. They’re oaty, pumpkiny and spicy—everything you want in a fall cookie. I made 3/4 of the recipe (don’t even ask) for a yield of 22. Recipe adapted from Tasty Yummies, here! They do tend to soften as they sit, so I like to store mine in the fridge in an airtight container.

1 c pitted dates, soaked in near-boiling water for at least 10 minutes
1 flax egg (1 tbsp ground flaxseed+ 3 tbsp water)
1.5 c almond flour
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
heaping 1/4 tsp fine sea salt
heaping tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 c avocado oil
scant 1 c pure pumpkin puree
1 tsp vanilla
1.5 c rolled oats
1/4 c extra dark chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350, and line a baking sheet or two with parchment paper.

In a food processor, make date paste out of your soaking dates. Chuck em all in there with a little bit of water and whizz whizz whizz until it’s mostly smooth. This isn’t an exact science and I love chunks of dates in my cookies so I don’t go crazy trying to get it to smooth out. Set aside. Make your flax egg by combining flax and water in a small bowl, and set that aside as well.

In a large bowl, whisk together almond flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. In a slightly smaller bowl, whisk together oil, pumpkin, vanilla and gelled flax egg. Stir wet into dry, add in oats and chocolate chips, and stir until combined. Drop by large tablespoons onto the prepared baking sheet, flattening them slightly and rounding the edges if you like perfect looking cookies (I usually opt for the rustic variety). Bake for 18-20 minutes, until the tops are lightly browned and slightly firm. Let cookies cool on the cookie sheet for at least 3-4 minutes before moving them (they’re soft, be careful!). Let cool completely on a cooling rack and store in an airtight container in the fridge.

September 7, 2014

Hello weekends, I LOVE you

I still can’t get over this whole weekends off thing. I’ve had one whole weekend to do whatever I pleased and I wasn’t on vacation and no one was covering my shifts and I almost didn’t know what to do with myself for a hot second.

But only a hot second. Because I realized that I could a) go to jazzercise, b) go to yoga, c) go to yoga AGAIN, d) go out to dinner to eat Moroccan food in the outer Richmond and cookies from the Castro with my boyfriend and parentals (yay!), e) hang out with a bestie, and f) make all kinds of delicious food, and g) do ALL OF THOSE THINGS ALL IN ONE WEEKEND!!! It was amazing. Really. And now I’m writing this. And eating delicious things. Ooohoooh and I got to read my novel too!! Secret nerd?! Nope. Not even. Mostly just nerd.

But anyway. In the midst of being super excited for having two weekend days off in a row for reals and forever (for now), I made shashuka! Essentially eggs poached in marinara sauce, served over something grainy or whatever and sprinkled with a fine grating of cheese. Which is delicious and exciting since I’d never made it before… and also kind of sounds like a type of dance?? Don’t you think? Do the shashuka? Right? Okay. No. Just eat it, you won’t regret it for a second. I think this is going on my regular rotation of things to make since it’s relatively fast, I generally have everything on hand, and it’s comforting and saucy and delicious.

Also, I never want my dessert to end. I made banana bread with caramelized bananas and no refined sugar and stuff and then I cut a piece in half and smeared chocolate peanut butter and salted caramel ice cream and chocolate malt ice cream [sorry I’m not sorry, it’s the weekend] all over the inside and now I don’t want it to stop. I would try to slow down eating it but it’s just SO GOOD. Can’t stop won’t stop. After all that shashuka… mmm. Food. And weekends. Doesn’t get much better than that.

And now my eyes are droopy and tired and I might actually go to bed. At 8. Because I can. Muahahaha!

Shashuka

Most likely serves 3-4, though you could use as many eggs as you want. I made a full serving of sauce but only enough eggs for me so that I could make fresh eggs when I want leftovers. Gluten free! Please excuse the sometimes rather vague measurements, I never measure when I make marinara. The recipe is my own! Shahuka obvs isn’t my idea, but besides poaching eggs in tomato sauce, I get credit for the flavors!

a hefty glug of olive oil
2 hunks of frozen basil (or else a good handful of fresh)
1 clove of garlic
a few sprigs of fresh marjoram
medium sized glug of red wine
1 small onion, diced
double handful of button mushrooms, sliced
1 small zucchini, grated
three good handfuls of spinach, roughly chopped
1 can tomato sauce [strictly tomato, not marinara sauce that’s prepared]
2 good spoonfuls of tomato paste, until your sauce is as thick as you like
1/2 tsp coconut sugar
salt+pepper to taste
3 eggs
grated parmesan, to serve

In a saute pan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add in basil, garlic, and marjoram. Once the oil has heated a bit, add diced onions. Let them cook for a minute or two, then add wine. Let that cook over low while you chop up the rest of the veggies. Add in mushrooms and let them brown for about 4-5 minutes, then toss in grated zucchini and spinach. Let it all cook down for maybe 5 minutes, until the spinach is wilted. Add in tomato sauce and paste, and let the sauce simmer for at least 20 minutes. Season to taste as it’s cooking with salt and pepper, as well as the 1/2 tsp of coconut sugar (add more to taste if things are a little bitter up in these parts). Turn heat to medium low, and make three wells in the sauce with the back of a spoon. Crack an egg into each well, cover the pan, and cook for 5 ish minutes until the whites are cooked though (the idea is to have runny yolks—if that freaks you out then let them go a bit longer). Serve over a grain of choice, with grated parmesan sprinkled over the top.

July 2, 2014July 2, 2014

Midsummer Pepita Pesto Shenanigans

Ugh, here we go again with large hiatuses (hiati-i?!) in between posts. I miss you, invisible internet friends! I do hope things are going swimmingly and that your summer is fab. Defs no complaints on this end, other than a lack of time to blog. Obvs.

But let’s rectify that!

Because I have this AMAZINGGGG summer dish to share today! Last night was date night so I made dinner {and chocolate covered strawberries mmmmm} and then E and I went to see How to Train Your Dragon: 2 [there are no words. I sat there with a silly smile on my face for the entire movie, except when I was frowning in consternation at the screen, willing bad things not to happen. SO. GOOD.] aaannnd then it was late and dinner was forever ago and guess what?! I wanted ice cream. Shocking, I know…

So then because I’m really like five years old, this happened. Sprinkles make everything taste that much better.

But anyway. Back to the real food shenanigans because I’m pretty sure that’s why y’all are here, not to listen to my probably semi-obnoxious rambles about inner fiver year olds. I mean… if you are, though, I could go on… ha. Let’s not.

This is the beyond perfect dish for when it’s stupid hot out and you are really dying for pasta for some reason. I don’t know, it could happen! But this recipe involves only one stove burner for only about a minute, so it’s a [nearly] heat free solution. And it’s FULL of fruit and veg so obviously is my favorite thing ever. AND you can put cheese on it. So um… obvi. Clearly this is a perfect dish.

Top it off with some chocolate covered strawberries [extra dark chocolate+coconut oil melted…having dipping fun…let sit in the fridge for a bit] and you can just consider yourself in gastro heaven. Extra points for the addition of ice cream and a boyfriend who really like ice cream too and will therefore indulge you when you NEED IT NOW.

Pepita Pesto with Zucchini Noodles and Peaches

Vegan [w/o cheese garnish], gluten free. Serves 2 comfortably, with pesto leftover. Light, perfect for summer and peach season (this is obviously best with fresh ones). Recipe lightly adapted from the Vibrant Table cookbook via Food Loves Writing, here! This was such a near-perfect recipe I felt little urge to change it up. Delicious, fast, and summery.

1 c raw, unsalted pepitas
1/2 tsp coconut oil
1/4 tsp sea salt
2 scant tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 c packed fresh basil leaves
3 tbsp water
1 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 clove of garlic
3 large zucchini (I used 1 large, 2 small for E and I)
1 large organic peach, diced
fresh basil for garnish
grated parmesan

In a saute pan, heat coconut oil over medium heat. Once the pan is heated, toss in pepitas and sea salt and sauté until they start to smell a little toasty, 3-4 minutes (I don’t time them, I just go by smell; if they start popping, take them off the heat!). Pour them onto a plate and let them cool slightly.

Blend the pepitas in a food processor until they reach a consistency like almond meal, or like very small breadcrumbs. Blend in olive oil, basil, water, lemon juice, and garlic until combined. I like mine thicker and on the chunky side, but if you’d like yours to be thinner, blend in more olive oil or water. This will make more pesto than you need for two people—refrigerate the leftovers in a lidded glass jar in the fridge.

Using a spiralizer, turn the zucchini into noodles! (My favorite part, we’ve already established that I’m pretty much a five year old). If you don’t own a spiralizer (which I recommend getting, I LOVE mine), you can use a veggie peeler to shave off zucchini noodles instead. I steam my zucchini noodles for a few minutes until softened but still with a bite to them.

Toss hot noodles with several healthy spoonfuls of pesto, and stir in the diced peaches. I added salt and pepper to taste at this point as well. Serve with grated parmesan and fresh basil for garnish!

May 27, 2014

Corn husks are obnoxious little suckers

Okay so there’s this unwritten rule/trend thing in the food blogger universe that you’re apparently supposed to make red, white and blue food on Memorial Day. Barring that, at least burgers. And probably alcohol. At least barbecue-outside-summer-food. For heaven’s sake, grill SOMETHING.

I charred something, does that count??

Oops.

Sorry.

Except not really because um HELLO, TAMALES AND FLAN?!

I just like to be different.

This was sort of like a Carneval meets Cinco de Mayo meets Memorial Day mash-up kind of feast. And I wouldn’t have it any other way in my nutty food universe. Straight up homemade green chile chicken tamales + coconut sugar flan + vegan, gf, refined sugar free peanut butter date-oat cookies (because there was time in between roasting the tomatillos, soaking the corn husks, and pureeing chilies and garlic and rolling/tying/otherwise fighting with the tamale wrappings—who knew corn husks were so freaking stubborn?!). But SO fun to make. Talk about feeling accomplished with your Sunday—tamales, cookies, homemade chicken stock, and flan all in about 4.5 hours? Boom.

And even better, I had a cooking buddy! My friend Jill (of the blog Halfway There) and I have regular baking-cooking-kitchen shenanigans get togethers, and this was the latest. We both decided that tamales are WAY more fun with friends. Those corn husks are obnoxious little suckers… [isn’t there some saying to the effect of ‘shared pleasure in increased, shared pain is decreased’?? Something like that, which DEFS applies to tying tamales. Oi. We almost busted out the twine].

And then I had a FAB dinner… AND lunch o’ leftovers on Monday when I got to work for time and a half (yippee!!). Happy belated holiday weekend! Aren’t you glad you’re invisible internet friends with this weirdo who doesn’t bust open the grill on Memorial Weekend? Yeah. Me too.

And okay okay I know this picture is suuuuper inelegant but whatever. This was one of those “OMG! I have a thousand pretty pictures of the wrapped tamales and I’m hungry and OMG WAIT I JUST TOOK A BITE HOW IS THIS SO GOOD must share with my invisible internet friends but my food looks… um questionable by this point?! But they want to know!!! Snap snap snap” moments. You know. I promise that mess down there was mega delicious. Promise.

Green Chile Chicken Tamales

Recipe only mildly adapted from Epicurious, here. Jill and I got about 18 good-sized tamales out of our batch, with a bit of leftover masa dough and chicken filling (we ran out of decent husks, which was fine by me since then I got leftover filling for lunch… and we got sick of tying them, haha). We also doubled the amount of the sauce, which are the amounts I’ll include below.

1 6 oz bag of corn husks, soaked for at least 3 hours [place in a large pot, pour water over, and weight with a small pan so they stay submerged]

1 pound of tomatillos, husked+rinsed
4 jalapeños, seeded with ribs removed
4 serrano peppers, seeded with ribs removed
8 small garlic cloves
a good glug of olive oil
2 c low sodium chicken broth
4 c packed, shredded chicken [we used the meat off of an entire rotisserie chicken]
2/3 c chopped cilantro

1 1/3 c organic vegetable shortening
1.5 tsp salt*
1.5 tsp baking powder*
4 c freshly ground masa flour
2 c low sodium chicken broth

*only if your masa DOESN’T have these

This only looks complicated… it’s just time consuming!

Method can be found here [ugh I’m just too lazy to type it all out and we followed it exactly sooo…. yeah. Laziness ensues].

Coconut Sugar Flan

Again, not too difficult, though I for some reason always thought it would be. Yield: 8 ramekins or custard cups. It is refined sugar free and gluten free, but that’s about all you can say… sorry I’m not sorry this isn’t good for you! Ha. Sometimes you just gotta indulge. The recipe is adapted from Food 52, here!

1/2 c coconut sugar
3/8 tsp sea salt, divided
5 eggs
3 c half and half
1/2 c coconut sugar (no, that’s not a typo…)

Move your oven racks to the lower third, and preheat the oven to 350. Start a pot of water boiling on the stove. You’re going to need a water bath for this, so find a casserole dish or a baking dish that can comfortably hold all 8 of your ramekins. Set it all aside.

Whisk together 1/2 c coconut sugar+1/4 tsp sea salt in a small bowl. Pour the sugar/salt mix into the bottom of each ramekin, making sure the sugar is relatively evenly spread (I found it helpful to shake the ramekin slightly so the sugar would settle).

In a large bowl, whisk together eggs, the other 1/2 c of coconut sugar, and remaining 1/8 tsp of salt until well combined. Heat the half and half in a saucepan until just steaming—you should be able to stick a finger in just barely, but it should be too hot for you to want to leave it there. Let the half and half cool for just a few minutes, then temper the eggs by pouring a ladleful at a time of the hot half and half into the eggs, whisking vigorously the whole time (nobody wants scrambled eggs in their flan. Ewwww), until you’ve poured in all your half an half. If you’ve ended up with egg bits, strain the mixture now (Jill and I have super whisking skills, there were no egg bits to be seen, yessss). Carefully skim the foam off the top of the liquid, then ladle the mixture careful into the ramekins, being careful not to disturb the sugar. Some will float up, but if you do it slowly enough most of it should stay down.

Remember that pan of boiling water? Yep, we need it now. Pour it carefully around the ramekins, until it comes about halfway up the sides of the dishes. CAREFULLY place this whole thing onto the bottom rack in your preheated oven. Bake until the flan is *just* wobbly in the center—-the very center should wobble, but it will look like it’s wobbling under a more solid top—-about 25-30 minutes, depending on your ramekin size and depth. Remove from the water bath with tongs, and let cool for 15 minutes before moving them to the fridge to chill for at least 4 hours.

To serve, run a thin knife around the edges of the custard and invert onto a plate. Ogle the amazing saucy, custardy deliciousness that has just appeared on your plate, and thank all the gods you decided to make tamales and flan on a random Sunday. Mmm.

Leftovers can be stored in the fridge, but wait what?! You have leftovers?? Hold the phone, I’m coming over…

March 8, 2014

It’s Saturday and my brain has fallen out, has anyone seen it?

Jazzercize, kelp noodles, and ecstatic dance.

That was my Wednesday.

You know, I kind of don’t even surprise myself anymore. Ha. Not that I’m predictable by any means, buuuut whenever I do something weird now it’s not weird. It’s just normal. Weird is my normal.

And I am SO okay with that.

Welcome to my weirdness. Not that you weren’t inundated with it already anyway—I make sure that enough of it makes it onto the blog so you can get a sufficient picture. Just in case you were at all unsure…

But you LOVE my weirdness! Which is why you’re reading this anyway. Or just skip to the recipe if you’ve had enough weirdness for one day, it’s fine, we can still be friends.

And one more thing. I just got off work and I need to get this off my chest. PLEASE KEEP YOUR DEMON CHILDREN OUT OF MY STORE.

Whew. Okay. I feel better now. But seriously. I like children. Really, I do. But I most definitely don’t appreciate them running screaming through the store and slamming things. Or attempting to slam each other into the bathroom door. Excuse me but WHERE IS YOUR PARENTAL UNIT?! And why aren’t they attached to you?? This is emphatically not babysitting, thankyouverymuch I am not paid for that so… no. Just no. There were two spectacular specimens of demon children in the store today that were completely unaccompanied and unsupervised for a good half an hour… really people? If you have children and take them shopping, please keep them attached to your person so that I don’t inadvertently drop kick them out of my section. Okaythanksherearesomestretchypantsbye.

Now I really feel better. And if you’ve stuck with me this long, here’s the reward for your waiting: a kelptastic noodley bowl! Yay!

Kelptastic Noodle Bowl

Gluten free, vegan, and stuff. Like low carb, whatever whatever blah blah but really? It’s just delicious. Trust me. Recipe is from the depths of my brain and stomach. I was hungry, so this happened. Eeeeasillyyyy adaptable so use whatever you have on hand, but this particular combo is my favorite. In the pictures I used leftover chicken but I actually liked it better with black beans, so use whatever you have/like. I got three lunch servings (for me) out of a package of kelp noodles—probably would be enough dinner for 3.

1 package kelp noodles, rinsed and cut into smaller pieces
two good handfuls of white mushrooms, chopped
1 bell pepper, diced
1 can of black beans, rinsed and drained
3 small Persian cucumbers, diced
3 tbsp almond butter (mine was salted)
1 tsp freshly grated ginger
a good splash of coconut aminos (roughly 1 tbsp)
1- 2 tbsp bragg’s liquid aminos*
1 avocado, diced

*I use this to taste at the end—it depends on how salty your almond butter is or isn’t

Rinse and cut up kelp noodles so they’re a little more manageable. Toss all diced veggies into a steamer and steam until tender. In the bottom of a bowl large enough to hold all your veggies and noodles, whisk together almond butter, ginger, and coconut aminos. Add several tablespoons of warm water to thin out the sauce, then toss noodles, steamed veggies, beans, and cucumbers into the bowl and stir to combine, until sauce is evenly distributed. Salt and pepper as needed, and top with avocado. Devour immediately, obviously.

February 20, 2014

Lemon+curd=heaven, Just sayin’ (even though this post is actually about chickpeas)

I’d like to announce two things.

One. I very nearly almost just fell off my balance ball that I’m currently sitting on. As in, I got up and when I tried to sit down again it had rolled away. Luckily, since I am of superior intelligence (no comments please), I outwitted it and somehow managed to land back on the rolly round thing. HA.

Two. I think I ate my weight in lemon curd today. Ugh those scones are just SO GOOD and then the lemon curd is just SO GOOD ALSO and I just.can’t.stop. I mean, it would be such a shame to waste any, right??! Right. Lemon+curd=heaven. Just sayin.

And three. Even though I only said two, too bad. Aerial yoga! It’s fun!! Just hangin’ out on a casual Tuesday night.

But also.

Chickpeas! Or alternatively garbanzo beans. Or whatever. Regardless, they’re delicious. And a hefty source of protein and fiber. Nothing to quibble over here, they’re clearly good for you. I’m absurdly obsessed with this lunch. Varying my diet? Ha. As if. I feel like I’ve eaten this for lunch the last several days in a row. Minus today, of course, when apparently I ate scones and lemon curd for lunch (reference above picture if you were at all confused about my devotion to anything that combines the words lemon and curd in the same sentence).

But anyway. This makes a fab lunch or dinner, and can be thrown together in less time than it takes to actually eat it, which in my book is a plus when I return from yoga and needfoodnow. Also, this is one of those fabby dishes where you take whatever is lurking in your fridge, and voila, lunch! Love that. Almost as much as I love lemon curd and very nearly but not really falling off my balance ball.

Chickpea Vegetable Sauté in Pumpkin Mustard Sauce

This recipe comes from my grey matter, and the depths of my fridge. Serves one, unless you mega increase ingredients. This is how I usually make it, with preferred ingredients, but feel free to substitute in whatever you have lurking about. Gluten free, dairy free, vegan, high protein, high fiber.

1 stalk celery, chopped
1/2 a zucchini, chopped
4-5 button mushrooms, chopped
2 good handfuls of greens (mine are usually chard+spinach+kale, or arugula)
a good glug of extra-virgin olive oil
1/3 c chickpeas, if canned–drained and rinsed
2 healthy spoonfuls of pumpkin puree
salt and pepper to taste
a few squirts of stoneground mustard, to taste
sliced avocado for topping
chopped nuts for topping (I like cashews+walnuts)

Heat the glug of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Toss in celery, zucchini, mushrooms, and greens, and sauté them for a few minutes until the veggies begin to soften. Add chickpeas, pumpkin, and salt and pepper, and let cook until everything is heated through. Pour out in to a bowl, and stir in mustard. Top with avocado and chopped nuts! Diced cucumber is also good as a topper if you happen to have that around.

This makes great leftovers too, I’ve taken it for a work lunch more times than I can count.

January 2, 2014

Family traditions and some bacon (because why wouldn’t you add bacon?!)

Happy slightly belated New Year!

2014 already?! Hard to believe. But I am fully determined to manifest the best.year.ever. Sparkly, bright, and new. And HAPPY! As Voltaire once wisely said, “I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health”. Mantra for 2014? Check.

Welcome to my family: with a grandmother hailing from Columbia, South Carolina, there was no escaping the obligatory good-luck meal for New Year’s day (not that I would want to escape it, it’s DELICIOUS). Black eyed peas+rice, cabbage with bacon [uncured and nitrate free, obviouslyyyy], and cornbread. All for good luck, though with different connotations: greens are for money, and cornbread for gold… and then I’m not entirely sure of the story behind the black eyed peas, but they’re lucky. Just accept it and move on.

It’s not New Years without some black eyed peas.

Why are they called peas? They’re obviously beans…

Anyway…

Despite the fact that I don’t drink, apparently I make good drinks: this one was even named after me!! Meet the HayBay! Kind of like a mimosa except not. A bit of bubbly, ginger liqueur, and ruby red grapefruit juice. Rather like me, I suppose… bubbly? Sassy? And maybe a little tart, ha.

Happy TwentyFourteen! Much joy, laughter, and happiness to you and yours in the new year. Go hug someone :)

New Year’s Cabbage with Bacon

I’m not even going to do this recipe-style… as far as I know I’ve never seen this recipe written down—all I know is that it comes from the southern side of the fambam. Technically I suppose this recipe is gluten free and paleo!

Cut up a big head of cabbage. Don’t worry about shredding it, just hack it into fork-sized, manageable chunks. After that’s done, slice up 5-6 stalks of celery.

Assuming you previously cooked up a good-sized skillet of [uncured, nitrate-free] baconony goodness (sorry, this is in no way, shape or form a vegetarian recipe. Sorry I’m not sorry, sometimes a girl’s gotta have bacon!), dump some of the leftover bacon grease into the largish soup pot you’re using for the cabbage. Sauté the cabbage and celery in the bacon fat unit it gets soft, but still has a crunch to it. Toss in diced bacon bits and salt, pepper, and hot sauce it up to suit your taste. We use Crystal hot sauce for this, since it’s a family tradition.

Serve hot, with black eyed peas cooked with more bacon (duh) and some cornbread (mine happened to be vegan… can’t get too far away from those contradictions, can we?!).

Happy New Year!

December 21, 2013

Full-tilt jungle madness [ie holiday whilst working retail]

Happy Solstice! I was definitely wishing I was at Stonehenge tonight [not Sconehenge. We already know I’ve been there…].

Four days till Christmas?

Yep.

Holiday retail madness is in full tilt jungle mode. Oi. We had a line to the back of the store for the majority of my shift today, and I literally felt like a ping pong ball trying to get from the back of the store to the front. “Excuse me, excuse me, oops sorry, ‘scuse me” don’t mind me, I’m just carrying two FULLY LOADED hanger caddies which are awkward and heavy and no, it’s fine if you just sort of stand there, no big deal, it’s just a really good thing that I’m nimble and quite agile…

Path of least resistance becomes a game of finding the smallest spaces between people and convincing yourself that you really do in fact fit through them. Oh. And yes, I most definitely DO work here, thanks for asking… I mean, as much as I find folding pants therapeutic, I don’t usually fold them for fun, you know?! Especially when they’re exploding out of the pant wall due to extreme being-shopped-ness. Literally exploding. Seeing is believing, people.

Good thing too that this bit of deliciousness awaited me on my break. Thankfully, or I might have passed out due to a potent combination of hunger, cash/wrap repetitiveness, and energetic dancing (obviously— you have to move around a lot when you’re ringing at the register to get the blood flowing).

Can I unscrew my smile now? I think my jaw is permanently stuck.

Mmm. For times when you need a hefty dose of iron and some delicious flavors, this recipe should be in your back pocket.

Afghani Beef with Acorn Squash

Recipe adapted from Afghan Online, here. Mom discovered this one a while ago, and we’ve been fans ever since. It comes together fairly easily, and serves 3 with plentiful leftovers. Gluten free and paleo! Also delicious sans acorn squash if you don’t happen to have any, you could totally serve this over couscous or quinoa, spaghetti squash, or zucchini noodles from your spiralizer… you name it, it’s probably delicious.

Rustle up the following:

1 yellow onion
1 lb ground beef (grass fed organic)
1 tsp ground black pepper
16 oz can of tomato sauce
1 tsp crushed garlic
1 tsp coriander
1 tsp salt
1 c water, divided
1 mediumish zucchini
2-3 c raw spinach
2 acorn squash, halved
avocado oil

Preheat oven to 425. To roast acorn squash, brush them with avocado oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Flip them cut side down on a jelly roll pan or rimmed cookie sheet, and roast until fork tender, about 20-25 minutes.

Using a food processor or a powerful blender (I don’t possess this, so food processor it is), process onion and 1/2 c water. Pour this into a saucepan over medium heat, and add beef. Cook until the beef is browned, then add the other 1/2 c water, garlic, coriander, pepper, and tomato sauce. Grate zucchini into the pan, and toss in rinsed spinach. Let the whole thing simmer for about 20-25 minutes more, until ready to serve.