It’s Saturday and my brain has fallen out, has anyone seen it?

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Jazzercize, kelp noodles, and ecstatic dance.

That was my Wednesday.

You know, I kind of don’t even surprise myself anymore. Ha. Not that I’m predictable by any means, buuuut whenever I do something weird now it’s not weird. It’s just normal. Weird is my normal.

And I am SO okay with that.

Welcome to my weirdness. Not that you weren’t inundated with it already anyway—I make sure that enough of it makes it onto the blog so you can get a sufficient picture. Just in case you were at all unsure…

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But you LOVE my weirdness! Which is why you’re reading this anyway. Or just skip to the recipe if you’ve had enough weirdness for one day, it’s fine, we can still be friends.

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And one more thing. I just got off work and I need to get this off my chest. PLEASE KEEP YOUR DEMON CHILDREN OUT OF MY STORE.

Whew. Okay. I feel better now. But seriously. I like children. Really, I do. But I most definitely don’t appreciate them running screaming through the store and slamming things. Or attempting to slam each other into the bathroom door. Excuse me but WHERE IS YOUR PARENTAL UNIT?! And why aren’t they attached to you?? This is emphatically not babysitting, thankyouverymuch I am not paid for that so… no. Just no. There were two spectacular specimens of demon children in the store today that were completely unaccompanied and unsupervised for a good half an hour… really people? If you have children and take them shopping, please keep them attached to your person so that I don’t inadvertently drop kick them out of my section. Okaythanksherearesomestretchypantsbye.

Now I really feel better. And if you’ve stuck with me this long, here’s the reward for your waiting: a kelptastic noodley bowl! Yay!

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Kelptastic Noodle Bowl

Gluten free, vegan, and stuff. Like low carb, whatever whatever blah blah but really? It’s just delicious. Trust me. Recipe is from the depths of my brain and stomach. I was hungry, so this happened. Eeeeasillyyyy adaptable so use whatever you have on hand, but this particular combo is my favorite. In the pictures I used leftover chicken but I actually liked it better with black beans, so use whatever you have/like. I got three lunch servings (for me) out of a package of kelp noodles—probably would be enough dinner for 3.

  • 1 package kelp noodles, rinsed and cut into smaller pieces
  • two good handfuls of white mushrooms, chopped
  • 1 bell pepper, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed and drained
  • 3 small Persian cucumbers, diced
  • 3 tbsp almond butter (mine was salted)
  • 1 tsp freshly grated ginger
  • a good splash of coconut aminos (roughly 1 tbsp)
  • 1- 2 tbsp bragg’s liquid aminos*
  • 1 avocado, diced

*I use this to taste at the end—it depends on how salty your almond butter is or isn’t

Rinse and cut up kelp noodles so they’re a little more manageable. Toss all diced veggies into a steamer and steam until tender. In the bottom of a bowl large enough to hold all your veggies and noodles, whisk together almond butter, ginger, and coconut aminos. Add several tablespoons of warm water to thin out the sauce, then toss noodles, steamed veggies, beans, and cucumbers into the bowl and stir to combine, until sauce is evenly distributed. Salt and pepper as needed, and top with avocado. Devour immediately, obviously.

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