Confessions of a Hippie-Granola Child

Okay so. Confession time.

For being such a hippie-granola crunchy type, I had a few less than crunchy incidents in my childhood. Even though I was raised eating lots of mashed up tofu and banana, as I got older, I was allowed to eat significantly more processed food (This was of course before we discovered the evils of hydrogenation and trans fats, at which point my extremely wise mother put the kibosh on eating that kind of junk). Clearly this lapse in taste didn’t affect my gastronomical maturation too much, since after this shortish hiatus I returned to my tofu-eating roots (thank goodness). Anyway. During this small interval of colorful cardboard boxes and “food products”, I developed a liking for… pop tarts. Seriously. What little kid DOESN’T like pop tarts?! Especially the frosted ones with the multicolored sprinkles (we know how I feel about sprinkles!). My favorite were frosted strawberry, but I hated them toasted! Weird, I know… I do realize that they are, in fact, toaster pastries… but for some reason I always liked them cold. I would unwrap that shiny silver package with such anticipation, knowing that I got TWO in one bag. Added bonus. I distinctly remember eating all the way around the edge and saving the middle, since that part was the best: all the filling and frosting!

Anyway, suffice to say that this infatuation ended sometime during high school, and I decided that kind of processed junk wasn’t worth my taste buds. I occasionally make an exception for the organic, more natural ones, but that’s rare. I much prefer just to make my own! What a concept. They’re really not difficult at all, and I’m sure they freeze wonderfully, which makes them just as convenient as a brand-name toaster pastry. Even better: they’re made with ingredients you can pronounce :) oh yes, and one more thing: they’re beyond delicious! Go appease your inner child and make some toaster pastries for yourself that you can feel good about eating! You can even put sprinkles on them, since you KNOW I would approve of that.

Whole Wheat Pop Farts (get it?! Like… fake pop tarts!)

From BabbleFood, here! I’ve made these before but Kira never had, and that was a travesty! They’re deeelicious warm or cold, and are very easy to pull together—the dough is relatively forgiving, in terms of pastry, and you can fill them with whatever floats your boat!

• 2.25 c whole wheat pastry flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tbsp sugar (I used turbinado)
• 1 stick of butter, chilled, cut into 1/2″ cubes
• 1 egg, lightly whisked
• 1/3 c cold water
• fillings of choice! Kira and I used a variety of pumpkin butter, almond paste, jam, and jam + nut butter (which is my favorite)
• if you want a glaze, powdered sugar and water works well. They’re perfectly good unglazed as well!

Preheat the oven to 375, and line a cookie sheet with either wax or parchment paper.

In a food processor, combine flour, salt, and sugar. Once combined, add in butter chunks, and pulse until crumbly and the mixture resembles a coarse meal. Combine whisked egg and water in a separate bowl, and add into the bowl of the food processor (while running if possible, if not, that’s okay too). Pulse until the dough just comes together.

Toss the dough onto a lightly floured surface, and knead a few times until it sticks together. Roll out to about 1/8″ thick, and cute out your rectangles! I like to make a variety of sizes to accommodate my snacking needs and the whims of the gremlins…Try to match up the sizes of top and bottom, so that the filling stays contained. Put a couple teaspoons’ worth of filling onto the bottom rectangle, wet the edges, and stick down the top. Crimp the edges with a fork for added cuteness.

Bake on the prepared cookie sheet for 12-15 minutes, until lightly browned. If glazing, let them cool a bit, and then brush with a mix of powdered sugar and water…and add sprinkles if your heart desires it!

Eat. Love. Indulge your inner child :)