Wait...are those...cookies?!

June 4, 2014

Because of course when I travel I take pictures of food….

HELLO!

I have returned from several things, the most recent was a fab wedding in Boise in which I was a bridesmaid and my best friend Ashley married this awesome guy named Jimmy! It was beautiful, I ate way too many delicious things, and now I’m back. Congratulations Ashley and Jimmy! I am SO thrilled I could be part of your beautiful wedding.

A wedding isn’t a wedding without cake…

Obviously low [fruit] sugar-peanut butter-banana-oat-coconut breakfast cookies were needed on the flight…

Because then I ate this!!! Sorry I’m not sorry. Ashley and I always got Coldstone when we were in college… so clearly it was time for a throwback day, 3.5 years later. Sugar coma? … YES.

Other random things. This is going to be one of those weird posts where I share all kinds of strange photos I’ve found on my phone. They need a home somewhere, right??

My bloglet turns three years old this month!!! Happy Birthday, bloglet!! Thank you for keeping my diet interesting and my photography skills sharpish. I will make you a three-year-old-bloglet dessert at some point but I just ate a bunch of wedding cake sooo… not just now.

I’ve been playing with my new dehydrator! Freshly dried apricots with no gunk in them?! Sign me up.

Also… I made some grain-free, refined sugar free paleo chocolate brownie cookies and they’re delicious… watch this space for further developments and I might share.

And nothing beats a good book and a delicious breakfast. This is what vacation is supposed to be like! And clearly oatmeal = an excuse to eat nut butter. Obvi.

May 27, 2014

Corn husks are obnoxious little suckers

Okay so there’s this unwritten rule/trend thing in the food blogger universe that you’re apparently supposed to make red, white and blue food on Memorial Day. Barring that, at least burgers. And probably alcohol. At least barbecue-outside-summer-food. For heaven’s sake, grill SOMETHING.

I charred something, does that count??

Oops.

Sorry.

Except not really because um HELLO, TAMALES AND FLAN?!

I just like to be different.

This was sort of like a Carneval meets Cinco de Mayo meets Memorial Day mash-up kind of feast. And I wouldn’t have it any other way in my nutty food universe. Straight up homemade green chile chicken tamales + coconut sugar flan + vegan, gf, refined sugar free peanut butter date-oat cookies (because there was time in between roasting the tomatillos, soaking the corn husks, and pureeing chilies and garlic and rolling/tying/otherwise fighting with the tamale wrappings—who knew corn husks were so freaking stubborn?!). But SO fun to make. Talk about feeling accomplished with your Sunday—tamales, cookies, homemade chicken stock, and flan all in about 4.5 hours? Boom.

And even better, I had a cooking buddy! My friend Jill (of the blog Halfway There) and I have regular baking-cooking-kitchen shenanigans get togethers, and this was the latest. We both decided that tamales are WAY more fun with friends. Those corn husks are obnoxious little suckers… [isn’t there some saying to the effect of ‘shared pleasure in increased, shared pain is decreased’?? Something like that, which DEFS applies to tying tamales. Oi. We almost busted out the twine].

And then I had a FAB dinner… AND lunch o’ leftovers on Monday when I got to work for time and a half (yippee!!). Happy belated holiday weekend! Aren’t you glad you’re invisible internet friends with this weirdo who doesn’t bust open the grill on Memorial Weekend? Yeah. Me too.

And okay okay I know this picture is suuuuper inelegant but whatever. This was one of those “OMG! I have a thousand pretty pictures of the wrapped tamales and I’m hungry and OMG WAIT I JUST TOOK A BITE HOW IS THIS SO GOOD must share with my invisible internet friends but my food looks… um questionable by this point?! But they want to know!!! Snap snap snap” moments. You know. I promise that mess down there was mega delicious. Promise.

Green Chile Chicken Tamales

Recipe only mildly adapted from Epicurious, here. Jill and I got about 18 good-sized tamales out of our batch, with a bit of leftover masa dough and chicken filling (we ran out of decent husks, which was fine by me since then I got leftover filling for lunch… and we got sick of tying them, haha). We also doubled the amount of the sauce, which are the amounts I’ll include below.

1 6 oz bag of corn husks, soaked for at least 3 hours [place in a large pot, pour water over, and weight with a small pan so they stay submerged]

1 pound of tomatillos, husked+rinsed
4 jalapeños, seeded with ribs removed
4 serrano peppers, seeded with ribs removed
8 small garlic cloves
a good glug of olive oil
2 c low sodium chicken broth
4 c packed, shredded chicken [we used the meat off of an entire rotisserie chicken]
2/3 c chopped cilantro

1 1/3 c organic vegetable shortening
1.5 tsp salt*
1.5 tsp baking powder*
4 c freshly ground masa flour
2 c low sodium chicken broth

*only if your masa DOESN’T have these

This only looks complicated… it’s just time consuming!

Method can be found here [ugh I’m just too lazy to type it all out and we followed it exactly sooo…. yeah. Laziness ensues].

Coconut Sugar Flan

Again, not too difficult, though I for some reason always thought it would be. Yield: 8 ramekins or custard cups. It is refined sugar free and gluten free, but that’s about all you can say… sorry I’m not sorry this isn’t good for you! Ha. Sometimes you just gotta indulge. The recipe is adapted from Food 52, here!

1/2 c coconut sugar
3/8 tsp sea salt, divided
5 eggs
3 c half and half
1/2 c coconut sugar (no, that’s not a typo…)

Move your oven racks to the lower third, and preheat the oven to 350. Start a pot of water boiling on the stove. You’re going to need a water bath for this, so find a casserole dish or a baking dish that can comfortably hold all 8 of your ramekins. Set it all aside.

Whisk together 1/2 c coconut sugar+1/4 tsp sea salt in a small bowl. Pour the sugar/salt mix into the bottom of each ramekin, making sure the sugar is relatively evenly spread (I found it helpful to shake the ramekin slightly so the sugar would settle).

In a large bowl, whisk together eggs, the other 1/2 c of coconut sugar, and remaining 1/8 tsp of salt until well combined. Heat the half and half in a saucepan until just steaming—you should be able to stick a finger in just barely, but it should be too hot for you to want to leave it there. Let the half and half cool for just a few minutes, then temper the eggs by pouring a ladleful at a time of the hot half and half into the eggs, whisking vigorously the whole time (nobody wants scrambled eggs in their flan. Ewwww), until you’ve poured in all your half an half. If you’ve ended up with egg bits, strain the mixture now (Jill and I have super whisking skills, there were no egg bits to be seen, yessss). Carefully skim the foam off the top of the liquid, then ladle the mixture careful into the ramekins, being careful not to disturb the sugar. Some will float up, but if you do it slowly enough most of it should stay down.

Remember that pan of boiling water? Yep, we need it now. Pour it carefully around the ramekins, until it comes about halfway up the sides of the dishes. CAREFULLY place this whole thing onto the bottom rack in your preheated oven. Bake until the flan is *just* wobbly in the center—-the very center should wobble, but it will look like it’s wobbling under a more solid top—-about 25-30 minutes, depending on your ramekin size and depth. Remove from the water bath with tongs, and let cool for 15 minutes before moving them to the fridge to chill for at least 4 hours.

To serve, run a thin knife around the edges of the custard and invert onto a plate. Ogle the amazing saucy, custardy deliciousness that has just appeared on your plate, and thank all the gods you decided to make tamales and flan on a random Sunday. Mmm.

Leftovers can be stored in the fridge, but wait what?! You have leftovers?? Hold the phone, I’m coming over…

May 23, 2014

Cookies n’stuff.

Excuses? No, not really.

I don’t have much to say for myself.

Except that it’s FRIDAY which means…

I missed cookie Thursday, so obviously we need to have cookie Friday. Duh.

Besides that, I am officially UN spotty AND I have tonsillitis no longer. What what! Clearly cookies are a necessary celebration. Besides that, I riffed on the lentil cookies again and these were too unusual and good not to share. I got the idea since I wanted to figure out another gluten free cookie based on lentils that could be chocolate free for my choco-free friends (Jill, these are for you!).

I promise to do something savory or NOT a cookie some point soon. I mean, ideally my next post but my food life is unpredictable so no guarantees.

In other random food news (such is my life: a string of food-events. Breakfast! Snack! Lunch! Snack! Dinner! Snack!), Mutti had a birthday last week, which meant deliciousness at Boulevard and high tea. Which also meant a food coma ensued. Sooo worth it. Apparenlty there are also going to be a thousand pictures in this post, sorry I’m not sorry I reeeeealllyyy like photography (or whatever it is that I do)!!

Truth:

Additionally, did you know that eggs+sautéed mushrooms and spinach+chopped walnuts+chopped dates+a small sprinkle of parmesan is unaccountably delicious? Because it is. Promise. Hey!! This is savory. Mostly… Do I get any points for that??

But anyway. Cookies. The reason we’re here in the first place. Happy allergen free cookie Friday! Proof that everyone can (and should) enjoy a cookie (or five) :)

Peanut Butter Lentil Cookies

Lightly sweet, as I prefer my ‘snacking’ cookies (as opposed to full on indulgent dessert). Full of protein and fiber, as well as a host of other minerals and nutrients and such (phosphorus, manganese, Vit B6), they’re also gluten free, vegan, and refined sugar free. I’ll snap to that. Recipe modified from the chocolate-chocolate chip lentil version from last week, here. Yield: 15 cookies (maybe would have been 16 if I could have stopped eating the dough, oops).

1.5 c green lentils, cooked
1/3 c organic salted peanut butter (mine was chunky)
1/2 c rolled oats
1/4 c pure maple syrup
1.5 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 c unsweetened shredded coconut
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 c dark chocolate chips**
1/8 c raw cocoa nibs**

**replace with carob for chocolate-free cookie fabulousness!

If needed, precook your lentils (1/2 c dry=1.5 c cooked).

Preheat the oven to 350, and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

These are beyond easy (thank goodness for that because excuse me but who wants to make complicated cookies when they want cookies NOW?! Yes, that’s what I thought): Toss cooked lentils into the food processor, and process until mostly smooth. Add in peanut butter, oats, maple, vanilla, coconut, and baking powder, and pulse until it’s all combined into a big, deliciously thick mess. Stir in chocolate chips and cocoa nibs (I just take out the blade and use the bowl of the food processor). Drop by the tablespoon-sized ball onto the prepared cookie sheet, and bake 12 minutes until the tops are just firm. Let cool for a few, then move to a cooling rack to cool completely. Or just devour them immediately; why bother taking up fridge space for storage?!

May 16, 2014

Tonsillitis=antibiotics=spottiness. Excuse me WHAT?!

Cookies.

For when you start with tonsillitis and then end up with an allergic reaction to amoxicillin, AFTER the entire course is done.

I mean, COME ON.

Dear body: Okay. I get it. You are no longer tolerant of things ending in ‘cillin’, and given that I’m not crazy about antibiotics anyway (unless its a dire situation, ie. can’t see tonsils on account of too much gunk), I promise promise not to take any more of the ‘cillin’ family. Next time please can we just use our words and you can TELL me that you don’t like something, rather than SHOWING me how much you hate it with a massive out break of red spots? Okay thanks. Love, soul residing in currently very spotty environs.

Because I really really really hate being spotty. Cookies might not even assuage how much crap this is.

Now I’ve had several bendadryl and am somewhat struggling to complete my sentences. Because… I really wanted to spend my weekend looking like a red and white spotted cheetah. NOT.

Le sigh.

Since my friends all know me so well, they naturally suggested cookies. So I made myself cookies because that’s apparently what you do when your bipedally locomoting meat vehicle decides to throw a massive fit and make you unfit for viewing by other humans.

But true to form, of course I made weird cookies. I mean, I’m stuck at home being spotty so why not get weird?! Benadryl makes me weird anyway so let’s just get weirder, right?! Except weird is my normal because a) you already know I put lentils in everything and b) I’ve already subjected you to green flecks in my cookies so this is really just riffing on an old theme…. of my habit of putting green stuff where it probably doesn’t belong. Too bad. I’m spotty and I like it and therefore … obviously it belongs there. I think my life is complete now: I have successfully put lentils and power greens into a cookie and made them taste good. WHAT.

On the plus side, my tonsils look normal now!

Powerhouse Cookies

Fudgy, chocolatey, and… full of greens?! Gluten free, vegan, refined sugar free. High in protein, low in sugar. Not too sweet. So freaking easy since all you really get dirty is your food processor and a spoon. Yield: I got 19 cookies, on the smaller side (but not too small). Recipe adapted from Homemade Hearts, here!

1.5 c black lentils, cooked
1 c mixed power greens (mine was kale, chard, and spinach)
1/2 c rolled oats
1/4 c unsalted almond butter
1/4 c pure maple syrup
1.5 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
1/4 c extra dark chocolate chips + 1/8 c raw cocoa nibs

If needed, precook your lentils (1/2 c dry + 1 c water until soft).

Line a baking sheet (or two) with parchment paper (I used one. lazy.). Preheat the oven to 350.

In a food processor, whizz lentils and greens until uniformly blended (though there should still be a bit of texture to it). Toss in oats, almond butter, maple, vanilla, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt, and blend to combine, scraping down the sides of the food processor as needed. Remove blade, and stir in chocolate chips and cocoa nibs. Drop by the rounded tablespoon onto the prepared cookie sheets, and bake for 13 minutes, until the top is just slightly firm. Remove and let cool on a rack. Store in an airtight container in the fridge!

May 10, 2014May 9, 2014

There are green flecks in my cookies. I mean, obviously.

Cookies.

Shocked? No. Me neither.

You’re not weirded out by the green flecks at all though, riiiight?! It’s me. Of COURSE there are green flecks in my cookies. They’re delicious. Promise. Just stick with me…

You see what happens?? I am forced into resting (I don’t really do this willingly, which is undoubtedly why I’m sick in the first place) by a stupid case of tonsillitis that is making me feel like I got hit by a truck. And when I am forced to rest, what do I do? I bake. Because baking is pretty much resting as long as I sit down after things go into the oven.

Also, my parentals just embarked on a mini trip, involving travel in one of those steel cylinders filled with recycled air that fly at high altitudes and have NO good things to eat. Furthermore, they were embarking on a trip to the midwest. Let me just put it this way: I have absolutely nothing against the middle of America (indeed, Gram hailed from Iowa and took me on a fab trip there when I was 9ish) but… hippie food is not exactly to be found in the parental’s destination.

Therefore, cookies to be consumed during the flying bit and for emergency rations later on were OBVIOUSLY necessary. And then I could eat a few and send the rest with them and by doing so prevent myself from inadvertently eating the whole batch. Which with these is kind of necessary. They are delicioussss.

And apparently they make my throat and tonsils feel better so clearly I should just eat more of them. AND they’re made with good-for-me ingredients so I don’t have to worry that I’ve eaten all that I didn’t send off with the parentals. Ooops.

I’ve made avocado cookies before and I definitely liked them, so these were intriguing in their chocolateyness. In both cookies, the avocado goes unnoticed flavor-wise, and really only contributes fudgyness (stop trying to turn that into pudginess, autocorrect! That is a LIE) and healthy fats. These are dense and fudgy—in fact, I like them straight out of the fridge when they’re cold. They’re not too sweet, but with the dark chocolate chips just sweet enough (For me and my fam—if you like sweeter cookies, feel free to up the sweetener as per your preference).

Chocolate Avocado Cookies

Refined sugar free, low in sugar, and full of healthy fats. I doubled the recipe for a total of 26 (not hugely sized) cookies, so I’ll list those measurements below. I adapted the recipe from The Almond Eater, here!

1.5 c whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 c coconut flour
1/3 c coconut sugar
1/2 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
2 ripe avocados
2 eggs
2.5 tbsp maple syrup
4-6 tbsp unsweetened almond milk (divided)
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 c extra dark chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350, and line a baking sheet or two with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, whisk together both flours, coconut sugar, cocoa powder, and baking powder. In a smaller bowl, thoroughly mash the avocados, then whisk in eggs, maple, 4 tbsp almond milk, and vanilla extract. Pour wet into dry, add chocolate chips, and stir until combined. I found that my dough was a little dry as I was mixing it, so I added almond milk a tablespoon at a time until all of the dry ingredients were incorporated.

Roll the dough into tablespoon-sized balls, flatten slightly, and place on the cookie sheet. They won’t spread, so feel free to cram them all together like I did. Bake for 8 minutes, let cool for a few on the cookie sheet, then move to a cooling rack to cool completely. Store any leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge.

Points for trying:

May 8, 2014

A case of RUDE tonsils

So guess what.

This is what happens when your tonsils rebel and you end up with…

TONSILLITIS.

So. RUDE.

Look what it made me do? I was feeling sorry for myself and this happened.

And I kind of thought it was pretty so I took lots of iPhone photos while I was becoming one with the couch. Which is so not my mo, I’m getting twitchy and this is only my first full day of antibiotics (which I hate but in some cases are obviously necessary).

Ughghghhghghg.

Thankfully things look a little better with a bowl of trashed up banana bread in front of you. I took a perfectly good-for-me loaf of grain free, refined sugar free banana bread and dumped a load of homemade chocolate hazelnut butter and vanilla ice cream on it. Because, obviously. I do not ever need to justify my ice cream but in this case I have tonsillitis and clearly everyone knows that tonsillitis=ice cream. There’s got to be an official rule written down somewhere that says that… right? Whatever. Just humor me, I’m sickly and cranky. And my banana bread is gone now so I can’t trash up any more of it.

Good thing I still have ice cream. I’ll have to just make do with that…

Simple Grain Free Banana Bread

This is one of my favorites—it comes out with a great crumb, it’s moist but not soggy (ew, no one wants that), and it bakes up cleanly in less than an hour. Grain free+gluten free, refined sugar free (in fact, it doesn’t have any sweetener added at all, except banana), and paleo. Yay! I adapted the recipe from Peanut Butter Runner, here! Makes one loaf.

3/4 c almond flour
1/4 c coconut flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 tbsp unrefined coconut oil (measured when completely liquid)
3 medium-large, extremely ripe bananas, mashed
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
shredded unsweetened coconut for topping, optional

Line a loaf pan with parchment paper, and preheat the oven to 350.

Whisk together almond flour, coconut flour, baking powder and soda, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg, trying to get all the lumps (sift coconut flour if it’s super lump-tastic). In a smaller bowl, whisk together melted coconut oil, mashed bananas, eggs, and vanilla. Pour wet into dry and stir until just combined—the batter is thick, and almost a little ‘dry’, but it spreads out easily into a loaf pan. Top with shredded coconut, if using, and bake for 45 minutes until a tester comes out clean.

Use the parchment to lift it out onto a cooling rack, and let cool completely before wrapping in foil. It does best stored in the fridge!

Trash it up with anything you feel like. Chocolate? Peanut Butter? Ice cream? (I mean, obvi)… This banana bread is your oyster.

May 4, 2014

If life hands you lemons, you should obviously make lemon bars

LEMON BARS!

With MEYER LEMONS!!

Life doesn’t get much better than that.

Especially since we had a random little heat wave in the middle of last week. And of course, it hit Thursday and I immediately wanted cookies because apparently Thursday=cookies. But seeing as it was waaaayyy too hot for any normal person to want to even consider turning on the oven, I wisely opted for no bake, raw lemon bars. Because they took about thirty seconds to throw together and then all I had to do was shove them in the fridge for chill time until I ate them. Lazy lazy and very nearly instant cookie gratification. Wheee!!!

Also, I love lemon desserts but I’m wildly picky. For instance, I find most lemon loaf cakes to be waaaayy too sweet—almost cloying and definitely icky. I love lemon scones and lemon curd—both of those are usually a good balance of not too sweet and just sweet enough. These bars totally fall into that category too—they’re not overly tart, but neither are they stupid-sweet.

Besides all that, they also happen to be raw, vegan, gluten free, and refined sugar free! Sooo…. breakfast, anyone??

And really. Anything with Meyer lemons: sign me up. They are SO much more exciting than a regular lemon (although these bars would also be delicious with regular lemons, I’m sure). Lemons=spring! Perfect springy dessert/breakfast/feelgoodtreat/younameit/please eat it.

That being said, these take pretty much five minutes to make so you have nooooo excuses. Lemon bars!! With nearly instant gratification!! YAY! Do it.

Raw Meyer Lemon-Coconut Bars

Recipe lightly adapted from Pure Ella, here! Raw, vegan, no bake, gluten free, and refined sugar free. They’re full of healthy fats and whole grains… AND they’re delicious. Recipe makes about 9 squares—I did mine in an 8 by 8 pan, but I think next time I’ll use something smaller so there’s a better crust to icing ratio.

For the crust:

1/3 c almond flour
1/2 c rolled oats
1/2 c raw buckwheat groats
scant 1/4 tsp fine sea salt
3/4 c dates, pitted (and soaked if they’re hard)
3/4 c unsweetened, shredded coconut
1 tbsp pure maple syrup
fresh zest of one meyer lemon

For the icing:

1/4 c unrefined coconut oil
2 tbsp coconut butter
2 tbsp pure maple syrup
fresh juice of 1/2 a meyer lemon

Line your preferred pan with a parchment paper and set aside.

In a food processor, whiz together almond flour, oats, buckwheat, salt, dates, coconut, maple, and lemon zest until thoroughly mixed and blended (you’ll need to scrape the sides a bit). Upend the processor over your prepared pan, and pat the crust down with your hands until it’s evenly distributed.

In a microwave-safe bowl (or on the stove), melt coconut oil and maple syrup together. Once everything is fully melted, stir in coconut oil and stir until that melts as well. Set aside until this cools off a little, then stir in the lemon juice. Pour all this goodness over your prepared crust, and carefully transfer to the fridge to chill for at least an hour before cutting and serving. Keep it stored in the refrigerator, assuming there’s any left to store…

April 25, 2014

Do I even need a reason??

Mo’ chocolate.

Because.. why?

Wait. Do I really have to answer that question?! Because… chocolate! End of story.

Besides, I actually made these cookies over a week ago but I’ve just been too busy and then Easter happened and there was that fabulously drippy hippie cake and stuff… and these cookies kind of languished in my camera for a little bit but they were SO FREAKING GOOD that I knew I would share them eventually. So don’t worry. I promise not to hold out on you too much longer.

In other news… IT’S RAINING! Wheeeee!!! Which means I really want to bake something (because rainy weather=baking, everyone knows that), but as per usual I made a small batch of cookies last night because I was seriously (my autocorrect tried to change that to serially, also true) jonesing and I neededcookiesnow. So I made this awesome batch of vegan peanut butter-coconut-chocolate chippies, and they disappeared by 9:30 pm. I made them at 4:30. Ha. I did have quite a bit of help though, as prodigious as my stomach capacities are, I think that would have stumped even me.

But anyway, I really like cookies, can you tell?

Also. I float in a hydrotherapy/sensory deprivation tank several times a week and even though I shower off really thoroughly afterwards, I always end up with epsom salts in my ear crannies the next day. I think it gets into my brain and then somehow works its way back out. I’m not really complaining, a good solid brain salting can’t be a bad thing now and then…

Soooo yeah. I’m endearingly random and salty but these cookies are ridiculously delicious—I highly suggest a cookie Friday incident. And if you make them, bring me one?! I’ve seem to have eaten all of mine…

Grain-Free Chocolate Pecan Cookies

These are a little sweeter than the cookies I usually make for everyday consumption, but they are SO DELICIOUS. Fudgy, chocoaltey, pecantastic and they just happen to be gluten free, grain free, and vegan. AND refined sugar free! Winner winner. I adapted the recipe only slightly from The Healthy Family and Home, here! Yield: 22 cookies.

1 c organic almond butter (mine was creamy unsalted)
heaping 1/3 c coconut sugar
1/4 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
3/4 c extra dark chocolate chips
1/2 c roughly chopped pecans
2 tbsp ground flax+6 tbsp water (2 flax eggs)

Preheat the oven to 350, and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

These are cookies, peeps: this doesn’t get any easier!

In a small bowl, stir together flax seeds and water. Let sit while you do everything else: in a large bowl and using your biceps, stir together almond butter, coconut sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, salt, chocolate chips and pecans. Toss in flax eggs. Drop by the rounded spoonful onto the prepared cookie sheet, and bake for 10 minutes. Let cool on the baking sheet for a few, then move them to a cooling rack to cool completely. These are a little soft when cooling, so I just moved the whole parchment paper over and let them keep cooling completely on the rack. Store in the fridge, if they last long enough! Mine barely did…

April 20, 2014April 21, 2014

Happy Peep-Eating Day!

Happy Chocolate-Bunny Eating Day!

Or something.

My dad and his brother started the day off by sending each other peep-eating photos. I guess that would make it Happy Peep-Eating-Day?! Or maybe it was a Peep-Off. Apparently my cousin was also photographed eating them, perhaps it’s a family affair? Whatever. The peep-eating trend obviously stops with me…sorry about that. Given that I absolutely abhor those nasty little piles of sugar-coated marshmallowy goop (nothing personal to the peep eaters out there, vacuum vati notwithstanding), I made this instead! Happy cake eating day to me! Because Easter=chocolate. Because…chocolate. Why do you even need a reason??

And then you add dates and bananas and coconut and more chocolate and mmmmm.

AND you omit the refined sugar and all that gunk. So really, I’m doing vacuum vati a favor by providing some balance to offset his peep-eating ways. Not that a peep (or ten) once a year is a bad thing…. just don’t blame me when you discover your insides are technicolor. Just sayin’.

And really. It’s Eater (I mean Easter, whoops. See??) so that means brunch and eggs benedict and cake and chocolate. Preferably chocolate before breakfast or chocolate ganache eaten with a finger spatula (don’t look at me like that. I know you’ve done it). Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, my Easter has included none of these things except a finger spatula (I did make cake, after all).

MY Easter started off at 5 am with toast… and then a sunrise service…and then shadow yoga studies at nine… and then a ravenous stuffing of basil-y and mushroom-y eggs into my face at 11:30 because I was ravenous after yoga and breakfast at 5; before which I had thrown a two layer cake together in twenty minutes. That is winning, that is. Oh. And I recently ate a truffle (salted caramel dark chocolate), courtesy of my mom who knows me SO well and put only intensely dark chocolate things and raw cocoa nibs in my Easter basket. Thanks mom!

Ramble ramble ramble…

CAKE!

Let’s move on.

Happy ~~eater~~ Easter! Enjoy your chocolate or cake or family or whatever it is that you happen to be doing. Whatever you do, please do yourself a favor and eat something delicious!

Also, one lasty little thingy…. happy 200th posts to me on my bloglet! You go, little bloglet. You’re so cute. I do rather adore you. Consider this a happy 200th-post cake celebration, hooray!

It's Easter. You get a flower! — It’s Easter. You get a flower!

Banana Date Layer Cake

This cake is not for the sweet-loving at heart, given that it is naturally sweetened and naturally not very sweet! But it IS good, so I would recommend it for those of you who either can’t or don’t eat refined sugar. It makes a dense, lightly sweet cake with a rich chocolate ganache. Despite being lightly sweet, it went over quite well for a mixed audience. I think it would be FAB with ice cream…It can be gluten free, if you choose, and it’s refined sugar free. Sub in maple for the honey in the ganache, and it becomes vegan. It’s also fairly easy to whip together, which is always nice. Recipe lightly adapted from Green Spirit Adventures, here! Serves… a lot. I fed this to a big family Easter dinner and we still have a few slices left over for Vacuum Vati’s breakfast.

Banana Layer

3 super-ripe bananas (the nastier looking, the better)
3 dates (soaked if needed)
6 tbsp unrefined coconut oil, melted
1/4 c unsweetened almond milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 c whole wheat pastry flour
1.5 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp fine sea salt

Cocoa-Date Layer

1.5 c unsweetened almond milk
8 dates (Soaked if needed)
6 tbsp unrefined coconut oil, melted
1 tsp almond extract
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 c whole wheat pastry flour
1/3 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 c coconut sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

Ganache

200 g dark chocolate (I used two 100 g bars of 73%), broken into smallish pieces
1 c unsweetened almond milk
1/2 tsp almond extract
1 tsp vanilla extract
3.5 tbsp tahini
2 tsp raw honey
a hefty pinch of sea salt

Garnish

unsweetened coconut
roughly chopped walnuts and pistachios
extra dark chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 and lightly grease two round 9″ cake pans. Bake the cakes at the same time for ease of everything…

For the banana layer. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl and set aside. Whiz everything else (bananas, dates, coconut oil, almond milk, vanilla extract) together in a food processor until mostly smooth. Toss wet into dry, and stir until just combined. The batter should be really thick—spread it evenly into the prepared pan rather than pouring it (good luck, it won’t pour..). Smooth the top and set aside until you finish the other layer.

For the cocoa date layer: Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, coconut sugar, cinnamon, baking soda and powder, and salt. Wash out your food processor, and whiz everything else together again (told you this was easy): almond milk, dates, coconut oil, almond and vanilla extracts. Wet into dry again, stir to combine again—this will also be a really thick batter, so spread it in evenly.

Bake both cakes at the same time for about 30 minutes (until a tester comes out clean)—my banana layer went for 30 and my cocoa layer for 35. Let cool until you can handle the cake pans, then turn them out to cool completely on a rack.

For frosting purposes, combine almond milk, almond extract, vanilla extract and tahini in a small saucepan over low heat. Once it’s warmed through, add the chocolate pieces and stir until completely melted (I turned off the heat after a few minutes but kept stirring). Stir in honey and salt.

Once all is said and done, find a cake plate… pick your bottom layer, then slap on a good layer of ganache on top of it. Pour a boatload of shredded coconut and chocolate chips into the middle, then slap on the second layer. Drizzle/pour/gratuitously indulge in being messy the rest of the ganache over the top and sides. The goal here is RUSTICATED! Top with chopped nuts, more chippies and coconut.

Glory in its beauty… then slice and eat. Happy Eater!!

April 17, 2014

Kelp noodles are ridiculously distracting

I really freaking love kelp noodles like WAY TOO MUCH.

I want to eat them all day, every day.

Which is weird, given that they pretty much taste like… nothing. It’s like eating noodley nothing.

So maybe… I’m really obsessed with the almond butter sauce. Realistically that’s probably it, given my history of obsession with anything nut butter related. Sheesh. I’m so predictable.

Whatever. Kelp noodles+almond butter = AMAZING.

But actually this post is about banana bread. Um. Non sequitur? Sorry, I was just really excited about my leftovers for lunch today… and I’ve been working too much and my I think I lost my brain somewhere between my last six days of work in a row and here. Has anyone seen it? It’s lumpy.. and grey…

Right. Anyway. Banana bread. Not just any banana bread though—this is grain free, refined sugar free, and has CHOCOLATE in it. So I mean, obviously. What are you doing still standing there?? Why aren’t you in your kitchen making this immediately?
Good. I see you trotting off towards your bowls. My pictures have apparently had their desired effect…

Sorry if there’s drool on your keyboard, I take no personal responsibility for that.

This went over quite well with its audience: dense with a good crumb, equal parts chocolatey and bananay… not too sweet but just sweet enough. Excellent with ice cream, if I do say.

Grain Free Swirled Chocolate Banana Bread

Recipe adapted from My little jar of spices, here! Yield: 1 loaf. Grain free, gluten free, refined sugar free.

3 very ripe bananas (the blacker and more disgusting the better), about 2 cups mashed
2 c almond flour
1/3 c ground flaxseed
1.5 tsp baking soda
3 tbsp salted butter, melted
2 tbsp raw honey
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 oz extra dark chocolate, 70% or above
2 tbsp coconut oil
3/4 c pecans, chopped
1 tsp raw honey

Grease a loaf pan (I use coconut oil), and preheat the oven to 350.

In a largeish bowl, whisk together almond flour, flaxseed, and baking soda. Set aside. In a small saucepan over low heat, melt butter and honey together until incorporated, stirring constantly until the mixture is a bit thickened. Remove from heat. In a medium bowl, mash the bananas until you get most of the lumps out. Whisk in egg and vanilla, followed by the butter-honey mix. Whisk to combine. Pour all of this biz into the dry ingredients, and stir until just combined.

In a microwave safe bowl, melt dark chocolate and coconut oil together, stirring occasionally. I usually do mine on 30 second bursts, stirring in between. Divide out half of the batter and stir in the chocolate.

Drop the batter into the loaf pan, alternating between chocolate and banana. I used heaping spoonfuls of each, swirling the tops sightly as I went (really, there is no wrong way to do this. Pretend it’s art!). In a small bowl, combine 1 tsp honey and chopped pecans until mixed. Toss this evenly on top of the batter, spreading it out so it’s all even and pretty. Bake for 45-50 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean. (Mine was perfect at 50) Let cool in the pan completely, and store in the refrigerator. I just left mine in the pan for 3 days, and it was totally fine.

Wait…are those…cookies?!

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