The advent calendar of baked goods continues! TWO MORE WEEKS. Actually, less than two weeks. Let’s get to days, shall we? 13. And that includes weekends.
Also, the to-do list is finally getting smaller, which might account for the two types of baked things that emerged this weekend.
And eggs! Always eggs. These were especially pretty though, so… here they are.
I exercised my math skills and made 3/4 of a brownie recipe this weekend, because a) I’m just cool like that and b) I was using my favorite skillet and I decided that a 1/2 batch doesn’t appropriately fill up the skillet and c) more brownies is ALWAYS the answer. This isn’t a new recipe, but these are probably just my favorite brownies, pretty much ever. Big claim, I know… but I think if I had to pick one brownie recipe for the rest of forever, there is a really good chance it would be these.
And they disappeared in short order (though I did have help…)
This is the recipe I love so much — I suggest just making a double batch (I list the 1/2 batch measurements here) because they’re just THAT good. Gluten free, grain free, refined sugar free, full of healthy fats and… nearly three kinds of chocolate. WINNING.
That elusive last piece…
And then in the midst of presentation preparations (PowerPoint for DAYS), I needed a study break so I made a small batch of chocolate chip cookies… because, cookies. I wasn’t even really craving cookies, but just to stand up and look at something that was NOT a computer or a powerpoint slide…. and then I ended up with cookies. Solid choice.
The cookie recipe is from Living Healthy With Chocolate, here! I didn’t alter it aside from using 1/4 c date sugar instead of coconut and added ~1 tbsp maple syrup.
They’re delicious! And they’re vegan which was important because I was feeling the need to eat a few bites of the dough…
It’s the homestretch! Let’s see if we can’t squeeze in at least one more baked thing between now and June 3. Ready… GO.
Three weeks. But who’s counting?! Not me, obviously…
Two weeks till I graduate, three weeks from today till I’m done done done! I feel like my posts of late are kind of like some version of a baked goods advent calendar until I’m done with my Master’s degree. Is that a thing?! Well whatever, I just made it a thing.
I’m taking study breaks with baked goods! This week’s offering could  not be more different than the last post — that one was fruity and light, this one is shut-the-front-door dense, caramel-y, gooey, rich, and decadent (in the best way, of course). All while being paleo (it’s sweetened with maple so not strict paleo), vegan, free of the glutens, and full of healthy fats and real food! Because, well, because. Because real food is good for you! And it tastes better anyway, right? Right.
Might I point out this also makes a great side dish for breakfast… alongside eggs and salad and leftover caponata. Don’t question. Just do it!
Highly recommend to consume this in front of Monty Python and the Holy Grail with excellent company for full brain-rejuvenation effect and happy taste buds.
And that is officially all I got on the anecdote front. Brain is in maxed out mode, I think it’s time for bed. Yes, I know it’s 8:45 on a Friday night. Nope, I’m not sorry at all.
Happy Weekend!
Vegan Salted Caramel Skillet Blondies
Vegan, paleo, gluten free, refined sugar free. Dense, fudgey, gooey, and delicious. Yield: 1 8″ cast iron skillet, which feeds however many you decide (1? 2? a dinner party? you do you). Lightly adapted from With Salt and Wit, here!
Preheat the oven to 350, and bust out your trusty little 8″ cast iron skillet! No need to grease it, such is the wonder of cast iron and the use of caramel under the blondie batter…
Mix the flax and water in a small bowl and let sit until gelled, about 5 minutes.
In a large liquid measuring cup (one of those pyrex ones works nicely) or other tall thing, vigorously whisk the almond butter, maple and coconut oil for the caramel until combined. You can do this in a blender if your almond butter is particularly thick — mine was runny enough to make a bicep workout feasible (and I decided I was too lazy to wash the blender later). Pour the caramel into the skillet and set aside.
In a larger bowl, combine almond meal, baking soda, sea salt, and cinnamon. Stir to combine. Add in flax egg, melted coconut oil, applesauce, maple, and vanilla. Stir until combined (shouldn’t take too long). Toss in chippies and give it one last good stir. Pour the batter into the caramel — you may have to smooth it out a little, and it will cause the caramel to creep up the sides. All good!! The caramel forms a nice crust for the gooey blondies, which turn out almost like cookie dough. Don’t worry too much about it spreading out perfectly, I promise it will be delicious.
Bake until the top is firm and the caramel is crackly on the edges. I checked mine at 20 minutes, then let it go for another 5 minutes since the blondie wasn’t as firm as I wanted. Final bake time was probably closer to 30 minutes. It helps to bang the skillet on the stove a bit to get the batter and caramel to settle. Once done to your liking, remove from oven and let sit for a few before annihilating.
Absolutely delicious with paleo gelato, or whatever floats your boat! Store any leftovers in the fridge.
Sincere apologies for the strange coloration on the photo below; I have no idea what happened and sadly grad school nonsense takes priority over having a proper photo shoot for the last remaining piece of blondie. Le sigh. Three weeks!
You can thank grad school for that (and for being a royal pain in my butt). My stomach was being a real winner today too, rude. On the bright side, one of the things it seems to tolerate with a minimum of fuss is this cake! Probably because angel food is basically egg whites and air and fluff, in the best possible combination. I’ve always loved angel food — I asked for it for a birthday cake at some point when I was a kid, and I’ve always thought it was delicious.
It’s fun to make, too! Egg whites are my favorite piece of kitchen chemistry. I love watching them go from foamy… to glossy… to peaks! I never get tired of it. And besides, even though I am the one who hardly ever uses a mixer unless I really have to, angel food gives me the chance to get out my beautiful red kitchenaide stand mixer! Wheeeeee! It looked so happy to see me. And don’t tell me inanimate objects don’t have feelings… KITCHEN APPLIANCES totally do. They feel neglected and sad when you just leave them to languish in the pantry… which is also why I love my pegboard so much. It means that my pots and pans and whatnot can hang out and watch the action from their corner (and egg me on. It’s like “use me!!! I am so great for making eggs!!! … constant ruckus from the peanut gallery).
…
But actually.
I will stop anthropomorphizing my appliances for the time being in order to get back to the cake. But admit it… if you love to cook and bake, your favorite pans and appliances become your friends. Don’t try to deny it, I know you. You know where they stick, how they heat, if they affect the consistency of whatever you’re baking… they’re like friends!
But also, in other news…
Mother Nature puts on some pretty amazing shows:
Day 4 of the Drawing Challenge! Favorite Place… this one was easy :)
And E and I had a fun date night at the British pub Fox and Goose, in the historic R district of Sacto. Fun fun!
But. Back to the regularly scheduled programming…
THIS CAKE! IS AMAZING!
Yep. still obsessed with this app.
And is gluten free, refined sugar free, and beyond delicious. When I made this, I actually ended up with a much denser consistency than angel food usually has (I have reason to suspect my oven; firstly, it is wee. It’s like half the size of a normal oven, so consequently all of my sheet pans are quarter sized. I feel like a Barbie. But also I do believe it runs hot and heats unevenly. Further research is required; until then it’s an interesting challenge) — but I don’t care, because it is AMAZING! It’s almost… custardy. But also kind of fluffy?! If you can possibly have custard and fluff at the same time, this is it. Mine got a tad overdone on the top half, and I actually pulled it out far sooner than it was supposed to go (hence the suspicion  that my oven runs hot), since it was done and browning quickly. It didn’t rise as much as they normally do, but it has that custardy wonderfulness so E and I definitely don’t care. Add to that, it’s tummy friendly and lower in sugar than most angel food cakes, so it just wins all around.
That all being said, I highly recommend making it on a Friday afternoon when your week has been rather wretched and you just need some cake. Not that I speak from experience or anything. Nope. Not me..
Grain Free Maple Angel Food Cake
Made of arrowroot starch, this cake is tummy friendly for IBS, gluten-free, grain free, and paleo. It’s also refined sugar free and lower in sugar than most angel food cakes, which is a bonus in my book for sure. Recipe from Deliciously Organic, here! I didn’t change a thing, as it was perfect as is. Yield: 1 cake (standard angel food pan).
12 egg whites (I used 1 carton = to 10 whites + 2 whites from whole eggs for convenience)
1 tsp fresh lemon juice
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
1.25 tsp cream of tartar
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
3/4 c maple sugar, divided
1 c arrowroot starch
whatever toppings float your boat for serving — I made a simple raspberry compote and topped it with a little shredded coconut
Preheat the oven to 350, and get out your *un-greased*Â angel food tube pan. You might want to put a cookie sheet down below the cake pan in the oven to account for any leakage — my tube pan tends to leak just a bit out of the bottom. Adjust the rack for the cake to be in the middle of the oven.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg whites with the lemon juice on medium high until foamy. Add salt, cream of tartar, and vanilla, and continue beating on medium high until soft peaks form, about 1 to 2 minutes.
With the mixer running on medium, slowly add 1/2 c of the maple sugar, a spoonful at a time. Sift the remaining maple sugar and arrowroot starch into a small bowl, and, with the mixer still running, slowly add this to the mixer bowl. Once it’s all added, whip on medium high until completely incorporated (you may need to scrape the sides of the mixer bowl, I did). Pour the batter into your tube pan, and bake for 35-45 minutes*, until the top is golden brown and the cake is puffed.
*Normal ovens are probably done at a minimum of 40 minutes. Mine was excessively brown at 35, and done, though not as puffy as it could be.
Remove the cake from the oven, and immediately invert over the neck of a wine bottle to cool completely — about 1 to 1.5 hours. Cooling it upside-down helps maximize loft! Once the cake is completely cooled, run a knife around the inside of the pans to loosen the sides, and pull the cake + the removable bottom out of the pan. Run a knife along the bottom between the pan and the cake to loosen it fully, then lift off to the serving plate. Decorate at will!
Angel food cake keeps well at room temp for a day or two if it’s not too hot or humid where you are. I’m keeping mine in the fridge and it’s totally fine — cover it with an inverted bowl and it will stay good for several days in the fridge.
I survived summer session!!! Donedonedonedonedone. And now I get a very well deserved week and a half to sit on my butt or go do jazzercise or reorganize the apartment which is slowly starting to look less like the home of the box-people, or quite probably some combination of the above.
And I also get to COOK. And maybe even BAKE, now that the weather in Davis has decided that it will deign to be somewhere under 100 degrees. It might only be somewhere between 95 and 98, but I tell you what — that is a hell of a lot better than walking out in 107 and feeling like you’ve been punched in the face by a wall of heat. Also, incidentally it feels like walking into a hairdryer set on high. Groooosssss. BUT! This week is supposed to be under a hundred, so perhaps it’s time to test run the teeny tiny oven in my apartment.
Side note. I have noticed, in subsequent kitchen explorations of my apartment, that everything is sloped. Literally EVERYTHING. My bar counter slopes one way, the stove slopes the other. Which is super fun when you’re making eggs and they all decide to run together in the back of the pan, in one giant egg party blob. I foresee some hilarious cooking adventures ensuing, not to mention some slightly crooked cakes.
This was also in evidence last night when E and I made waffles (because Friday night = breakfast for dinner, obviously) and the waffle batter all ran to one side of the waffle iron, creating very interesting effects and only mild spillage / escaping batter. They were still delicious, because also BACON and walnuts and banana jam and paleo and maple and grass fed butter and zucchini (I had to have something green. It would be out of character if I didn’t). And sorry if the pictures are garbage. I promise these waffles are DELICIOUS, which is why my pictures are lame because I really just wanted to eat them… Pictures of the fully loaded waffle were dinner last night, and the halfsie waffle with banana slices was second breakfast today. WINNING.
Also, one random thing… Kira and I are doing a 30 / 60 day drawing challenge! (30/60 because LIFE and we may not actually be able to do it in 30 days… margin for error). SO! Day 1. Drawing Self. I am supremely out of practice with drawing people / faces / self… not to mention that self portraits are HARD! But I declare it a credible effort, so here you go. Just one more way to keep myself accountable to finish this thing!
Happy Weekend! Make waffles, eat, be happy with your crooked kitchen and slightly janky stove.
Paleo Blender Waffles with Bacon and Banana Jam
Gluten free, paleo, refined sugar free, high fiber, grain free, fast and easy. Makes a delicious dinner when paired with bacon and walnuts (because bacon, duh) and banana jam. Recipe adapted from the Roasted Root, here!
For the waffles:
4 eggs
1/4 c coconut flour
1/2 c tapioca starch
3/4 c unsweetened hemp milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp maple syrup
heaping 1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp sea salt
For the banana jam:
 2 ripe bananas, all spotty: mashed
1/2 tsp cinnamon
splash of hemp milk
For serving: cooked bacon, chopped into little pieces, chopped walnuts, shredded unsweetened coconut, grass fed butter, almond butter, and coconut butter (or some crazy combination of all of that).
Let’s waffle: preheat your waffle iron, and brush it with a little bit of coconut oil. I had no problems with these sticking, but only you know the character of your waffle maker! In a blender, combine all ingredients and blend until smooth. Once the waffle iron is hot, you know the drill…. pour about 1/4 to 1/3 c of batter into the waffle iron (the batter is super thin and that’s fine—just pour straight out of the blender) and cook until either the indicator light for doneness comes on (I estimate roughly 3-4 minutes per waffle for mine—I like them browned), or until you can lift the lid and take them out with no sticking. Keep warm in a low oven until serving, or just eat immediately! These also freeze and reheat in the toaster extremely well.
While the waffles are cooking, assemble all the delicious other things (toppings are the whole reason we eat waffles, yes??)…
For the banana jam, mash up the bananas with a splash of hemp milk and some cinnamon. Preheat a small skillet over medium heat, and cook the bananas until they firm up a little and lose some of their water content. They should caramelize just a little on the bottom of the pan, and you’ll know they’re done when you start smelling the delicious banananess of it all. Serve on top of the waffles for extra delicious.
Ugh. It feels like it’s been forever and a year since I blogged last, but my stomach decided to take a little trip to the valley of the extremely irritable the last several weeks so I haven’t been cooking much of anything exciting.
BUT!
Brownies! Paleo maple bacon ones!
I also made cookies for a friend last week that were similarly delicious except were vegan (no bacon) and gluten free and not chocolate. So not exactly similar at all except for delicious. And all treats should be delicious! These were a hot mess in the crumbly department but were tasty tasty so might I recommend crumbling them over ice cream? Or maybe straight into your mouth? Double fisted cookie crumbling into that big hole in my head sounds fantastic, who needs a plate?!
And everyone knows that a four day weekend (Or three day. Or just any normal weekend) means that it’s time to go bop around outside and then come in and make dessert. Because weekends=dessert. Actually most things = dessert. Because… mmm treats.
Also, one last side note… I get quite a few inquiries into my eating habits. Most everyone tends to think I’m a vegetarian, but that’s not exactly true. I choose not to have a label: sometimes I bake and eat paleo things, sometimes I eat vegetarian, and sometimes gluten free. I’ve experimented with lots of different ways of eating, and I like to mix it up… and I have lots of friends who are gluten free, or vegan, or paleo, and I like to make different things that are accessible for everyone. Also, I like to eat! I noticed as I was finishing this post that it’s a very accurate representation of the way I eat: something meaty and paleo, grain free, gluten free, and vegan. ALL delicious!
And Jessie and I have very interesting conversations. Apparently she thinks I’m fascinating, see exhibit A below…
Paleo Maple Bacon Brownies
Paleo, gluten free, grain free, dairy free. Full of healthy fats and BACON so obviously you should make them. Refined sugar free, depending on the brand of chocolate chips you use. Yield: a small skillet or a loaf pan’s worth, 2 gratuitously obnoxious large servings or 4 sensible people servings (or you can just eat the thing out of the pan, to hell with proper plates because… picnic!)
For the maple bacon:
As much bacon as you care to consume
maple syrup for brushing
Heat a cast iron skillet over medium until hot. Brush bacon with maple syrup and pan fry until it reaches your approved bacon-doneness (I like less crispy, feel free to make dead bacon if that’s your thing). Set aside and let cool.
For the brownies:
I used this one here by Clean Eating with A Dirty Mind, but I think these are my all time favorite brownies (so far. You never know). Both are very dark, not overly sweet, and super fudgy. Either way, they’re winners!
For serving:
Top brownies with crumbled bacon and some creamy vanilla ice cream/non dairy thing/coconut whip/whatever your favorite thing is. Live a little and eat them straight out of the pan in a park in the sun. You won’t regret it :)
Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
These are the crumbliest things imaginable but they’re delicious so if you like crumbly cookies, defs give these a go. I prefer chewy cookies but I liked the consistency of these and they would be superb crumbled over ice cream. Gluten free, vegan, dairy free, refined sugar free. Yield: 19 cookies.
2 c rolled oats
1 c almond meal
1 c millet flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
scant 1/2 tsp fine sea salt
1 tbsp cinnamon (<–not a typo!)
1/2 c melted coconut oil
1/4 c unsweetened applesauce
3/4 c maple syrup
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 c extra dark chocolate chips
Preheat the oven to 350 and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. I fit all my cookies onto one sheet because I have intense cookie cramming skills, but you can also use two.
In a large bowl, whisk together oats, almond meal, millet flour, baking powder and sea salt. In a smaller bowl, whisk together melted coconut oil, unsweetened applesauce, maple, and vanilla. Pour wet into dry and toss in chocolate chips. Stir to combine until fully incorporated, and drop heaping tablespoons onto the cookie sheet. Flatten the balls slightly since these don’t spread all that much (if at all). Bake for 15 minutes, until lightly golden. Let cool for at least 10 minutes on the cookie sheet before moving them to a rack to cool completely.
It’s been awhile since there have been any pancakes on this blog, which is a mild travesty considering they’re one my fave things. Okay okay, breakfast and all associated breakfast things are my fave but you get the idea. Besides, I used to have such epic once-a-week-designated pancake days with friends back in college that it is just lame that I hardly eat them anymore.
Realistically, I probably love them so much because it gives me an excuse (as if I needed one) to eat more nut butter. Because… I really don’t feel like I need to justify this?! Actually because flat food surface= naked= needs nut butter or seed butter or coconut butter or all three (or just regular butter. I mean, obviously). And then a ton of other toppings because apparently I like decorating my food. And then playing with it. And then taking pictures. Let’s just pretend I grew up, okay?
That would be three kinds of butters in one meal. I think I have a problem.
Also cat selfies. Ha.
And pretty things! Mother Nature is so beautiful she doesn’t need a filter.
But back to pancakes.
These have actually become my favorite lunch of leisure lately, especially after some morning jazzercise general sweatiness. This particular recipe is so beyond easy to whip up, it’s stupid. And it contains less than five unprocessed ingredients, good fats, protein, and good carbs…exactly what I want after a workout. AND I can eat them with nut butter, which means I see absolutely nothing wrong with this picture. They are super light and fluffy, not overly sweet, and leave you feeling satisfied and not stuffed or comatose (hello traditional wheat-sugar-gluten-bad fat-undeniably delicious brunch, I’m looking at you).
Indulge yourself! It’s almost Friday, you know you want breakfast for dinner…
Banana Pancakes
Grain free, gluten free, refined sugar free, dairy free, paleo. Serves 1, yields about 4 good sized pancakes.
1 banana
1 egg
1 egg white
scant 1/4 c zucchini, finely grated
1 tsp coconut flour*
optional: a sprinkle each of cinnamon and nutmeg
*I vary this amount according to how much zucchini I use; the batter is runny so a little thickener doesn’t come amiss. However, if you hate coconut or don’t have coconut flour, you can leave it out no problem.
I got into graduate school for a masters in public health, wheeee! Which means I will be starting UC Davis in the summer session of 2015… UCD are you ready for this? I’m pretty rad and very sassy and generally crunchy. And after 18 months of that, I will go on to be rad but also have initials after my name, which makes me kind of a big deal. Ha. Kidding! Actually I’m really excited… and Davis has a legit co-op that I can spend hours in if not properly supervised.
But enough of that. I went to LA last weekend and hung out with a bunch of super awesome relatives who also happen to follow very similar food philosophies that I do, so I ate extremely well (lots of nitrate-free bacon, plantain pancakes and pure maple syrup. And bacon. Did I mention bacon? Also beets. Mmmm beets), and swiped a few recipes because natch, that’s what I do. And this is one of them! I like calling them YinYang cookies! Light side, dark side… call them whatever you want but by all means make them because they’re fabulous and grain free/refined sugar free! Everyone just wins all around.
Also, I just feel the need to leave you with this little gem. Obviously I got started early on my yoga squat… sassily, of course. Because no lady squats without a hat on. Obviously.
Yin Yang Cookies
Almond butter dough and chocolate dough swirled together for chewy-edged, doughy-centered cookies. Gluten free, grain free, dairy free, refined sugar free and paleo. The recipe is only tweaked slightly from the awesome book Make Ahead Paleo, by Tammy Credicott.
1 c almond flour
2 tbsp coconut flour, sifted
1/3 c arrowroot starch
1/2 tsp baking soda
pinch of fine sea salt
2 tbsp pure maple syrup
2 tbsp coconut sugar
1 egg
1/4 c roasted, unsalted almond butter
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp coconut oil, melted
1/4 c extra dark chocolate (I used 75%), roughly chopped into smallish pieces
2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
2 tsp water
Preheat oven to 350 and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a medium bowl, whisk together almond flour, coconut flour, arrowroot, baking soda, and sea salt. In a large bowl, vigorously whisk (or use a hand mixer; I whisked and they came out fine) maple, coconut sugar, egg, almond butter, vanilla, and coconut oil until the coconut sugar has mostly dissolved. Stir the dry into wet, until combined, and toss in chocolate chips. Divide the dough in half, and put half in another bowl so you can stir in cocoa powder and water. Roll chocolate dough into a 1″ ball and smoosh it together with a 1″ ball of almond dough, then roll it between your palms to swirl it together. Flatten them slightly before you put it on the baking sheet, since they won’t spread. Bake for 10-12 minutes (I took them out at 10 minutes), when the top is smooth and starting to crack slightly. Leave on the cookie sheet until cool, since they are a little soft. Store in an airtight container for a few days if you don’t eat them immediately (good luck).
Also, apparently can’t sit in a car for a long period like a normal person…
They’re like giant dense, chewy hunks of almondy goodness… almond butter and almond flour and… well actually that’s really all I need, isn’t it?? I swear, nuts are a food group for me. Probably because I AM nuts. Or something.
How is it already pretty much Thanksgiving?! Where did the last two months go?? This is absurd. I would like October back, please.
But actually… I like Christmas music. And coniferous trees in my living room. So I guess we can keep this moment of now where it currently is…
And in the meantime, I’ll eat these, thank you very much.
Whoever told you playing with you food wasn’t socially acceptable is lame because it’s FUN! Who doesn’t want to make Stonehenge out of tiny bits of almond butter blondie!? I speak from experience. You should really try it sometime. Extra points for squatting on the floor because the light is better down there, and that way your cat can investigate and decide that what you’re doing is acceptable. They do that, you know. But look!!! There are trilithons and uprights and lintels in my blondie henge. Which, by the way, is lots more fun than Stonehenge because you can play deity for a bit and then EAT YOUR HENGE!! What a revolutionary concept.
Also this kind of reminds me a lot of fifth grade when we studied colonial America and made shops out of shoeboxes. Not sure really why making an henge out of blondie bits as a 24 year old reminds me of fifth grade, but whatever. It’s fun walk down memory lane. Anyway… I chose the apothecary, since they fascinated me with all the little jars of interesting things. And being the architect’s daughter that I am, I cut up bits of clear plastic tubing (no doubt obtained on an educational trip with said architect to Ace hardware to learn about practical things) into ‘jars’ and filled them all up with spices and mysterious things, and hot glued them all to the back shelves of the box-shop. It smelled… AMAZING. Maybe that is where my early love of spices came from?? Anyway. This has nothing to do with blondies or henges but there you go. Welcome to my brain box, it’s weird in here.
Make blondie henges. Just trust me. Your inner child (or maybe your outer child because really, who wants to grow up?! It’s overrated) will thank you.
Also blondie henges are delicious. They also do double duty by satisfying my eternally curious and historically inclined nature.
Happy Almost Thanksgiving!
Ps. Furry friends are the absolute best snuggle buddies, especially when you’re wrapped in their favorite blanket.
Almond Butter Blondie Bars
Grain free, gluten free, vegan, and refined sugar free! Those are my current four favorite things about treats these days (especially the refined sugar free bit). They’re super easy to whip up and don’t bake for very long, both plusses for me. I’m definitely not against spending quality time in the kitchen, but there also time when you need a treat like yesterday and a quick baking time is essential. This recipe makes very tall bars in an 8 by 8 pan—anywhere from 9 to a zillion bitty bits of Blondie Henge depending on how you slice em. Recipe adapted from A Clean Bake, here!
3.5 c almond flour
scant 1/2 c coconut flour
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 c roasted unsalted almond butter
2 flax eggs (2 tbsp ground flaxseed+6 tbsp water)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 c pure maple syrup
4 tbsp unsweetened almond milk
1/3 c extra dark chocolate chips
Preheat the oven to 350, and lightly grease an 8 by 8 pan. Make your flax egg by combining flax and water, and set it aside to gel for about 5 minutes.
In a large bowl, whisk together almond flour, coconut flour (sift it if it’s lumpy, nothing ruder than lumps of coconut flour in baked goods), sea salt, and baking soda. In a smaller bowl, stir together almond butter, gelled flax egg, vanilla, maple, and almond milk. Add wet into dry, add chocolate chips, and stir until everything is combined. The dough is thick—I added an extra splash of almond milk when I stirred everything together, which is totally fine but don’t go overboard (I used only about a tbsp extra). Spread the batter into the prepared pan (I found a silicone spatula to work well for this). Sling the pan into the oven, and bake for 13-14 minutes (mine was perfect at 14). There might be some moist crumbs on the tester, but they should be a little densey-fudgy. Let cool before slicing, or else they’ll get crumbly. These are my favorite right out of the fridge, since the cold kind of solidifies their chewy denseness. Store any leftovers in the fridge (I usually just leave them in the pan and cover it with foil).
Guys. My songza playlist is SPOT ON tonight. Actually it’s so perfect it’s frightening. I got a bunch of funk up in here, perfect for a Thursday-almost-Friday-weekend-time.
Or let’s be real.
Funk is perfect ALL the time. Fact.
Just like these.
Welcome to end-of-summer-I-have-so-much-zucchini-someone-help. Or actually don’t. Really actually give me ALL YOUR SQUASH so I can make this bread over and over and over.
Because the whole pan was gone in pretty much four hours and there were only three of us.
And I really don’t feel like I got a justifiably large amount. So obviously this has to happen again. I have a question to pose to you: Is baking a bread out of nut butter and then putting more nut butter on your bread redundant?? Because that’s basically the story of my existence. I don’t even want to know how much nut butter I consume on average (thank you, GRE studies, for immediately making me think of mean, median and mode. No, I will NOT be calculating the ‘real life word problem’ of my nut butter eating. Just… no.) Do you know how many jars of nut butter are in the fridge right now? I bet you can’t even guess.
…
SEVEN.
And that’s not including the coconut butter in the cupboard (no need to refrigerate that sucker). I think I have a problem…
So make that eight different types of nut butter. There are two types of peanut butter. And two types of almond butter. And a few medleys. And some sunflower butter… oh god.
Um okay so new subject.
Bees!!! Hooray for new jobs and local bees!! Welcome to my morning:
If you want some, you know where to find me!
And you know what local honey would be amazing on??
THESE BARS.
They’re freaking fantastic. They’re even good by themselves!! Though obviously superior with a  smear of extra nut butter (obvi NOT the nut butter you used to make them, because how boring. Don’t you have six other choices to pick from?!). Super fast to whip up, which is basically as close to instant gratification as you can get with baking biz.
Side note: Playlist is reading my mind. “don’t stop till you get enough”… nut butter?! Right on, Michael, you are soooo right.
Anyway. Bars. Eat yo’ veggies! In something that is grain free, gluten free, refined sugar free, and full of healthy fats and fiber and all that good stuff! And they taste kind of like gingerbread?! Which is baffling considering there is no ginger to be found in them. Whatever. They’re delicious and I didn’t eat enough last time sooooo…. does someone have any extra zucchini lying around they want to chuck my way? Puhhleeez??
Almond Butter Zucchini Bread
Recipe only a teeny bit adapted from Hummusapien, here! It was so perfect I didn’t want to futz too much, though next time I might try them with a flax egg just for funzies. Gluten free, grain free, flour free. Paleo, refined sugar free, healthy fats, good source of fiber and sneaky veggies! Makes about 9 good sized bars in an 8 by 8 pan.
3/4 c almond butter [mine was roasted and very lightly salted]
1 giant zucchini, grated [1 heaping c shredded zucchini]
1 egg
1/8 c pure maple syrup
1/8 c raw coconut nectar
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp fine sea salt [adjust accordingly if your almond butter is salty]
1/4 c extra dark chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350, and lightly grease an 8 by 8 baking pan with coconut oil or whatever your thing of choice is.
In a largeish/mediumish bowl thing, combine almond butter, egg, maple, coconut nectar, and vanilla. Whisk together until combined. Add in baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and sea salt and whisk all that goodness in too. Stir in zucchini and chocolate chips until combined. Pour batter into the prepared pan, and bake for just about 30 minutes, until a tester comes out clean.
Let cool for a few, then flip out onto a cooling rack. I store it in the original baking pan after it’s fully cooled, with foil over the top  in the fridge (Not like I needed to since it all disappeared in about thirty seconds anyway, but you know…). Leftovers keep for… I have no idea. I didn’t have any.
Before I get into all the sweets nonsense… this was this morning’s harvest. I love love love having growing things in my backyard!! The baby strawberries went into buckwheat cereal alongside their pallies blueberries and kale and zucchini and carrots and coconut and sun butter and chia+hemp seeds and all the other ridiculous things I put in my breakfast cereals… But anyway.
I warned you about the sweets excess, no?!
Jill and I managed to whip out a batch of coconut milk ice cream with salted almond date caramel and pecans (droooool), a double batch of peanut butter coconut carob chip cookies, and a grain free raspberry polenta cake. In 4 hours. Boom. And we ate lunch in there somewhere, and Jill made this epic quinoa pizza crust just before I came over so that was also lunch.
But guys.
THIS ICE CREAM.
I just….
Drool.
Want.
Actually, I think this is the first time I have actually made ice cream!! I mean, I did it once at girly scout day camp, but I hardly think that counts (though I do remember it being delicious). I’ve also made it in that silly way of putting rock salt and ice in a plastic baggie and shaking cream around until it sort of resembles ice cream but HELLO that is so NOT as good as this business. This is… I have no words. Just drool.
AND. Not only that, but this ice cream is dairy free!! And gluten free!!! And quite possibly paleo?! And refined sugar free!! And vegan!!! Extra exclamation points!!! I think food allergies are super lame so here is a tummy-friendly ice cream for [nearly] everyone! YAY!
I got really excited in that last paragraph, sorry… but seriously. This ice cream.. mmmm.
ALSO ALSO ALSO!!!! I just made these amazing vegan lentil enchiladas with my friend Britt so they’re going up next. Because they’re really freakin’ amazing. Holy moly. Could it be?? Something savory?! No. Surely not. I must have hallucinated from too much ice cream…
Coconut Ice Cream with Salted Almond Date Caramel and Pecans
Recipe gratefully borrowed from Sweet Miscellany, here! I adapted the date caramel and pecans slightly to my taste. Makes about 5-6 servings, but is best the day it’s made (it starts to get a bit hard after a day or two), so go ahead and indulge with some friends. Either way, let it sit out for a few minutes (like 5) before serving–it will scoop a bit better. Gluten free, refined sugar free, paloe, vegan, and dairy free!
For the ice cream base:
2 cans full-fat, organic coconut milk
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
pinch of salt
1/2 c pure maple syrup (I use grade B, I like the flavor better in baked goods or sweets)
1 tbsp plain vodka
For the caramel:
roughly 20 good sized medjool dates, pitted (soaked if necessary)
2 heaping tbsp salted almond butter
a good pinch of sea salt
1.5 tsp pure vanilla extract
2-4 tbsp unsweetened almond milk, to thin it out a bit
For the pecans:
1 tsp coconut oil
heaping cup of pecans, chopped
Get ready to drool: In a large bowl, whisk together all of the ingredients for the base. Cover and chill in the fridge either overnight or for fourish hours.
While the base is chilling, make pecans and caramel! For the pecans, heat coconut oil in a medium skillet over medium-low heat. Toss in pecans and toast, shaking the pan occasionally. You’ll be able to smell the delicious toastiness once they get close to being done—should only be around 5 minutes after the oil is heated.
For the caramel, truck out your trusty food processor. Soak your dates in hot water to soften them if necessary. Once they’re soft, toss them into the food processor and pulse until they form a rough paste. Add in almond butter, vanilla, and sea salt, and pulse to combine. Add almond milk as necessary to thin it out a bit—you don’t want it too thin, but thick enough that it’s spreadable. Set aside when it’s to your liking.
Once the base is done chilling, bust out your ice cream maker! Jill has a really cool one.. mine is OLD school. Like, hand crank. So… we used Jill’s! Chill the insert in the freezer if needed. Toss it all in and churn according to the ice cream maker’s instructions (or if you can’t find them, like Jill and I, just use your best judgement ;). Once the ice cream gets to a ‘soft serve’ consistency—meaning that if you stick a finger in there (or a spoon, pst whatever civilized), you should be able to scoop some up without it being too runny. Stir in about 3/4 of the pecans. Once the pecans are incorporated, spread a layer of ice cream into whatever you’re storing it in (I used a tall, round container; Jill’s was flat and square–either is fine), followed by generous dollops of caramel and a sprinkle of pecans. Repeat, swirling the ice cream together with the caramel dollops, until all the ice cream and caramel (and pecans) are combined. Cover and freeze until firm—for easier scooping, freeze until *just* firm. Let sit out a bit before scooping!
Wait...are those...cookies?! 