healthy fats – Page 3 – Wait…are those…cookies?!

September 11, 2014

Just for laughs, guess how many jars of nut butter I have…

Guys. My songza playlist is SPOT ON tonight. Actually it’s so perfect it’s frightening. I got a bunch of funk up in here, perfect for a Thursday-almost-Friday-weekend-time.

Or let’s be real.

Funk is perfect ALL the time. Fact.

Just like these.

Welcome to end-of-summer-I-have-so-much-zucchini-someone-help. Or actually don’t. Really actually give me ALL YOUR SQUASH so I can make this bread over and over and over.

Because the whole pan was gone in pretty much four hours and there were only three of us.

And I really don’t feel like I got a justifiably large amount. So obviously this has to happen again. I have a question to pose to you: Is baking a bread out of nut butter and then putting more nut butter on your bread redundant?? Because that’s basically the story of my existence. I don’t even want to know how much nut butter I consume on average (thank you, GRE studies, for immediately making me think of mean, median and mode. No, I will NOT be calculating the ‘real life word problem’ of my nut butter eating. Just… no.) Do you know how many jars of nut butter are in the fridge right now? I bet you can’t even guess.

…

SEVEN.

And that’s not including the coconut butter in the cupboard (no need to refrigerate that sucker). I think I have a problem…

So make that eight different types of nut butter. There are two types of peanut butter. And two types of almond butter. And a few medleys. And some sunflower butter… oh god.

Um okay so new subject.

Bees!!! Hooray for new jobs and local bees!! Welcome to my morning:

If you want some, you know where to find me!

And you know what local honey would be amazing on??

THESE BARS.

They’re freaking fantastic. They’re even good by themselves!! Though obviously superior with a smear of extra nut butter (obvi NOT the nut butter you used to make them, because how boring. Don’t you have six other choices to pick from?!). Super fast to whip up, which is basically as close to instant gratification as you can get with baking biz.

Side note: Playlist is reading my mind. “don’t stop till you get enough”… nut butter?! Right on, Michael, you are soooo right.

Anyway. Bars. Eat yo’ veggies! In something that is grain free, gluten free, refined sugar free, and full of healthy fats and fiber and all that good stuff! And they taste kind of like gingerbread?! Which is baffling considering there is no ginger to be found in them. Whatever. They’re delicious and I didn’t eat enough last time sooooo…. does someone have any extra zucchini lying around they want to chuck my way? Puhhleeez??

Almond Butter Zucchini Bread

Recipe only a teeny bit adapted from Hummusapien, here! It was so perfect I didn’t want to futz too much, though next time I might try them with a flax egg just for funzies. Gluten free, grain free, flour free. Paleo, refined sugar free, healthy fats, good source of fiber and sneaky veggies! Makes about 9 good sized bars in an 8 by 8 pan.

3/4 c almond butter [mine was roasted and very lightly salted]
1 giant zucchini, grated [1 heaping c shredded zucchini]
1 egg
1/8 c pure maple syrup
1/8 c raw coconut nectar
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp fine sea salt [adjust accordingly if your almond butter is salty]
1/4 c extra dark chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350, and lightly grease an 8 by 8 baking pan with coconut oil or whatever your thing of choice is.

In a largeish/mediumish bowl thing, combine almond butter, egg, maple, coconut nectar, and vanilla. Whisk together until combined. Add in baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and sea salt and whisk all that goodness in too. Stir in zucchini and chocolate chips until combined. Pour batter into the prepared pan, and bake for just about 30 minutes, until a tester comes out clean.

Let cool for a few, then flip out onto a cooling rack. I store it in the original baking pan after it’s fully cooled, with foil over the top in the fridge (Not like I needed to since it all disappeared in about thirty seconds anyway, but you know…). Leftovers keep for… I have no idea. I didn’t have any.

August 10, 2014August 13, 2014

My sandwich is exploding kale

Drool drool drool.

I had no idea these bars were going to be so spectacular!!! But they were. And thankfully for me and my sweets consumption they went on the plane to Oregon with m&v, those lucky ducks. I have serious problems when I go to Portland… I just want ALL THE FOOD. And I run into that reoccurring problem of most mortals in that only so much goodness will fit in my stomach. With whom do I register a complaint for this ridiculous design flaw?!

But anyway. They needed plane snacks and any excuse to bake is fine by me so these happened.

And I am soooo glad they did.

Sorry in advance for the next bajillion posts being sweets, don’t say I didn’t warn you… Jill (of the blog Halfway There and the tamales and flan madness) and I are having our bimonthlyish baking extravaganza later today sooooo there will be cake and ice cream and cookies. And quinoa pizza…just to, you know, round things out. Because why make just one thing?! How boring. But more on that later.

Also tacos. And feet. And there was a pool behind me and what more could you want on a weekend? Sadly that was last weekend (of the light side/dark side bars) and there is currently no pool in sight for me. Harumph.

Also KALE!!! Could there be any more kale in this sandwich?! I think not. KALE EXPLOSION! Love love love. I know it’s random but KALE!!! is AMAZING!! And it’s my blog. So I’m sharing.

But for now. BARZ. M&V needed something that traveled well and wouldn’t be too crumbly so obviously dates. And nuts for sustenance whilst traveling (much better than that garbage you typically find in airports). And only five ingredients, all whole foods, all things that come from nature and are eaten while still resembling their natural state. Wheeee!

Pecan Date Bars

Beyond simple to put together! Chewy, naturally sweet and delicious. Gluten free, grain free, refined sugar free, dairy free! Might be paleo? Easily veganized. Healthy fats [pecans], a good source of vits/mins [dates], antioxidants [extra dk chocolate] + protein. Perfect travel (or anytime) snacks. Recipe adapted from Ellaphant Eats, here! Makes 9 giantish bars, or more if you cut them smaller… but… why?!

1 c pitted medjool dates [soaked in hot water for about 10 minutes if they’re like rocks]
2 c raw pecans
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
2 eggs*
1/3 c extra dark chocolate, chopped or chips (mine was chips for hurried baking)

*or two flax eggs (2 tbsp ground flaxseed+6tbsp water) veganizes this nicely

Preheat the oven to 350, and lightly grease an 8 by 8 pan with your thing of choice (I like coconut oil).

In a food processor (what on earth would I do without these?!), process softened dates and pecans until a sticky, clumpy dough forms. The pecan pieces should be relatively small (just don’t over do it and end up with nut butter…). Pulse in vanilla and sea salt, followed by the eggs. Remove the blade and stir in 1/4 c chocolate chips. Scoop the batter out into the prepared pan, and flatten it out with a spatula or your fingers or whatever. Press the remaining chocolate chips into the top of the bars. Bake for just about 19-20 minutes, until the edges are browned. The center will still feel slightly soft, but a tester should come out clean. Let cool in the pan, then cut and store in a sealed container in the fridge.

July 6, 2014

Light side? Or…. dark side?!

So, are you on the light side?

Or…

The dark side?

Both are equally appealing…

B(lond)rownies are kind of like the Force. They have a light side, and a dark side… and they undeniably hold the universe together. My universe, anyway, I can’t speak for yours…

But really, when brownies are holding your universe together, that universe is pretty freakin fab!

I was a little more inclined to the dark side today with these. Dense, fudgy and rich, with small chunks of chocolate chips.. mmm. Doesn’t get much better than that. Except when there’s peanut butter added to your chocolate, in which case the ridiculous deliciousness of these skyrockets into the stratosphere.

But then there’s these.

And if you’re feeling like maybe your inclinations push you to the light side (blue, green and purple are pretty awesome lightsaber colors), there’s these. Dense, chewy-crumbly, with an almost graham cracker-like taste. And chocolate chips. Of course.

Actually, much like the dichotomy in the Force (and the real universe..) these two complement each other startlingly well. The deep dark fudgy of one plays nicely against the lighter molassesy flavor of the other.

So go ahead. Indulge your dark side and your light side, and make a batch of both. You never know when the mood might strike, or when your universe might become ruled by baked goods in the best possible way….

Deep Dark Peanut Butter Brownies

This recipe is from Minimalist Baker, here! It’s freaking fabulous so I didn’t change a thing (other than omitting the powdered sugar and subbing in maple). Makes about 12 good sized brownies, in an 8 by 8 pan. Vegan, gluten free, and refined sugar free!

1 can (15 oz) of black beans, rinsed and drained
2 tbsp flaxseed meal+5 tbsp water
3 tbsp melted coconut oil
3/4 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
1.5 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/4 c pure maple syrup
1/4 c coconut sugar
1/2 c creamy salted peanut butter
1 tbsp pure maple syrup
1/3 c extra dark chocolate chips

Lightly grease an 8 by 8 pan, and preheat the oven to 350.

In a food processor, combine flax meal and water and let sit for a few minutes. Add in beans, coconut oil, cocoa powder, salt, baking powder and soda, vanilla, maple syrup, and coconut sugar. Pulse to combine, and let it run for a minute or two—you want this to be very smooth. Stir in the chocolate chips, and pour batter into the prepared pan. In a smaller bowl, stir together peanut butter and maple. Drop dollops of the peanut butter onto the tops of the brownies, and swirl it in with a knife. Top with extra chocolate chips (because, why not?!), and bake for just about 30 minutes. The center should have no jiggle and the edges will pull slightly away from the pan. Let cool almost completely before slicing, as they’re a little fragile when warm. Store in the fridge in an airtight container!

Light Side Blondies

These are adapted only slightly from Worth Cooking, here! The recipe makes about 12-14 wedges if you make it in a 9″ round cake pan, as I did. E and I decided these reminded us slightly of graham crackers in the way they tasted, and they’re dense, chewy and vanilla-y. They’re gluten free with oat flour, as originally written, but I was out. Vegan and refined sugar free!

1/4 c flaxseed meal
1/2 c water
1 tbsp molasses
1.25 c whole wheat pastry flour
1/3 c tapioca starch
3/4 c coconut sugar
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
7 tbsp melted coconut oil
2 tbsp vanilla (Yes, you read that right!)
1/3 c extra dark chocolate chips

Lightly grease a 9″ round cake pan (or square, or whatever). Preheat the oven to 350.

In a smallish bowl, whisk together flaxseed, water, and molasses and let sit. In a larger bowl, whisk together whole wheat pastry flour, tapioca starch, coconut sugar, salt, and baking powder. Add in flax mix, followed by coconut oil and vanilla. Stir to combine, tossing in the chocolate chips as you go. Spread the batter into the prepared pan, and bake for just about 30 minutes. The top should be firm, and the blondies will pull away from the sides of the pan slightly. Let cool a bit before slicing. I have no leftovers… but if I had, I would have stored them in the fridge ;)

July 2, 2014July 2, 2014

Midsummer Pepita Pesto Shenanigans

Ugh, here we go again with large hiatuses (hiati-i?!) in between posts. I miss you, invisible internet friends! I do hope things are going swimmingly and that your summer is fab. Defs no complaints on this end, other than a lack of time to blog. Obvs.

But let’s rectify that!

Because I have this AMAZINGGGG summer dish to share today! Last night was date night so I made dinner {and chocolate covered strawberries mmmmm} and then E and I went to see How to Train Your Dragon: 2 [there are no words. I sat there with a silly smile on my face for the entire movie, except when I was frowning in consternation at the screen, willing bad things not to happen. SO. GOOD.] aaannnd then it was late and dinner was forever ago and guess what?! I wanted ice cream. Shocking, I know…

So then because I’m really like five years old, this happened. Sprinkles make everything taste that much better.

But anyway. Back to the real food shenanigans because I’m pretty sure that’s why y’all are here, not to listen to my probably semi-obnoxious rambles about inner fiver year olds. I mean… if you are, though, I could go on… ha. Let’s not.

This is the beyond perfect dish for when it’s stupid hot out and you are really dying for pasta for some reason. I don’t know, it could happen! But this recipe involves only one stove burner for only about a minute, so it’s a [nearly] heat free solution. And it’s FULL of fruit and veg so obviously is my favorite thing ever. AND you can put cheese on it. So um… obvi. Clearly this is a perfect dish.

Top it off with some chocolate covered strawberries [extra dark chocolate+coconut oil melted…having dipping fun…let sit in the fridge for a bit] and you can just consider yourself in gastro heaven. Extra points for the addition of ice cream and a boyfriend who really like ice cream too and will therefore indulge you when you NEED IT NOW.

Pepita Pesto with Zucchini Noodles and Peaches

Vegan [w/o cheese garnish], gluten free. Serves 2 comfortably, with pesto leftover. Light, perfect for summer and peach season (this is obviously best with fresh ones). Recipe lightly adapted from the Vibrant Table cookbook via Food Loves Writing, here! This was such a near-perfect recipe I felt little urge to change it up. Delicious, fast, and summery.

1 c raw, unsalted pepitas
1/2 tsp coconut oil
1/4 tsp sea salt
2 scant tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 c packed fresh basil leaves
3 tbsp water
1 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 clove of garlic
3 large zucchini (I used 1 large, 2 small for E and I)
1 large organic peach, diced
fresh basil for garnish
grated parmesan

In a saute pan, heat coconut oil over medium heat. Once the pan is heated, toss in pepitas and sea salt and sauté until they start to smell a little toasty, 3-4 minutes (I don’t time them, I just go by smell; if they start popping, take them off the heat!). Pour them onto a plate and let them cool slightly.

Blend the pepitas in a food processor until they reach a consistency like almond meal, or like very small breadcrumbs. Blend in olive oil, basil, water, lemon juice, and garlic until combined. I like mine thicker and on the chunky side, but if you’d like yours to be thinner, blend in more olive oil or water. This will make more pesto than you need for two people—refrigerate the leftovers in a lidded glass jar in the fridge.

Using a spiralizer, turn the zucchini into noodles! (My favorite part, we’ve already established that I’m pretty much a five year old). If you don’t own a spiralizer (which I recommend getting, I LOVE mine), you can use a veggie peeler to shave off zucchini noodles instead. I steam my zucchini noodles for a few minutes until softened but still with a bite to them.

Toss hot noodles with several healthy spoonfuls of pesto, and stir in the diced peaches. I added salt and pepper to taste at this point as well. Serve with grated parmesan and fresh basil for garnish!

May 10, 2014May 9, 2014

There are green flecks in my cookies. I mean, obviously.

Cookies.

Shocked? No. Me neither.

You’re not weirded out by the green flecks at all though, riiiight?! It’s me. Of COURSE there are green flecks in my cookies. They’re delicious. Promise. Just stick with me…

You see what happens?? I am forced into resting (I don’t really do this willingly, which is undoubtedly why I’m sick in the first place) by a stupid case of tonsillitis that is making me feel like I got hit by a truck. And when I am forced to rest, what do I do? I bake. Because baking is pretty much resting as long as I sit down after things go into the oven.

Also, my parentals just embarked on a mini trip, involving travel in one of those steel cylinders filled with recycled air that fly at high altitudes and have NO good things to eat. Furthermore, they were embarking on a trip to the midwest. Let me just put it this way: I have absolutely nothing against the middle of America (indeed, Gram hailed from Iowa and took me on a fab trip there when I was 9ish) but… hippie food is not exactly to be found in the parental’s destination.

Therefore, cookies to be consumed during the flying bit and for emergency rations later on were OBVIOUSLY necessary. And then I could eat a few and send the rest with them and by doing so prevent myself from inadvertently eating the whole batch. Which with these is kind of necessary. They are delicioussss.

And apparently they make my throat and tonsils feel better so clearly I should just eat more of them. AND they’re made with good-for-me ingredients so I don’t have to worry that I’ve eaten all that I didn’t send off with the parentals. Ooops.

I’ve made avocado cookies before and I definitely liked them, so these were intriguing in their chocolateyness. In both cookies, the avocado goes unnoticed flavor-wise, and really only contributes fudgyness (stop trying to turn that into pudginess, autocorrect! That is a LIE) and healthy fats. These are dense and fudgy—in fact, I like them straight out of the fridge when they’re cold. They’re not too sweet, but with the dark chocolate chips just sweet enough (For me and my fam—if you like sweeter cookies, feel free to up the sweetener as per your preference).

Chocolate Avocado Cookies

Refined sugar free, low in sugar, and full of healthy fats. I doubled the recipe for a total of 26 (not hugely sized) cookies, so I’ll list those measurements below. I adapted the recipe from The Almond Eater, here!

1.5 c whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 c coconut flour
1/3 c coconut sugar
1/2 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
2 ripe avocados
2 eggs
2.5 tbsp maple syrup
4-6 tbsp unsweetened almond milk (divided)
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 c extra dark chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350, and line a baking sheet or two with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, whisk together both flours, coconut sugar, cocoa powder, and baking powder. In a smaller bowl, thoroughly mash the avocados, then whisk in eggs, maple, 4 tbsp almond milk, and vanilla extract. Pour wet into dry, add chocolate chips, and stir until combined. I found that my dough was a little dry as I was mixing it, so I added almond milk a tablespoon at a time until all of the dry ingredients were incorporated.

Roll the dough into tablespoon-sized balls, flatten slightly, and place on the cookie sheet. They won’t spread, so feel free to cram them all together like I did. Bake for 8 minutes, let cool for a few on the cookie sheet, then move to a cooling rack to cool completely. Store any leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge.

Points for trying:

May 8, 2014

A case of RUDE tonsils

So guess what.

This is what happens when your tonsils rebel and you end up with…

TONSILLITIS.

So. RUDE.

Look what it made me do? I was feeling sorry for myself and this happened.

And I kind of thought it was pretty so I took lots of iPhone photos while I was becoming one with the couch. Which is so not my mo, I’m getting twitchy and this is only my first full day of antibiotics (which I hate but in some cases are obviously necessary).

Ughghghhghghg.

Thankfully things look a little better with a bowl of trashed up banana bread in front of you. I took a perfectly good-for-me loaf of grain free, refined sugar free banana bread and dumped a load of homemade chocolate hazelnut butter and vanilla ice cream on it. Because, obviously. I do not ever need to justify my ice cream but in this case I have tonsillitis and clearly everyone knows that tonsillitis=ice cream. There’s got to be an official rule written down somewhere that says that… right? Whatever. Just humor me, I’m sickly and cranky. And my banana bread is gone now so I can’t trash up any more of it.

Good thing I still have ice cream. I’ll have to just make do with that…

Simple Grain Free Banana Bread

This is one of my favorites—it comes out with a great crumb, it’s moist but not soggy (ew, no one wants that), and it bakes up cleanly in less than an hour. Grain free+gluten free, refined sugar free (in fact, it doesn’t have any sweetener added at all, except banana), and paleo. Yay! I adapted the recipe from Peanut Butter Runner, here! Makes one loaf.

3/4 c almond flour
1/4 c coconut flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 tbsp unrefined coconut oil (measured when completely liquid)
3 medium-large, extremely ripe bananas, mashed
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
shredded unsweetened coconut for topping, optional

Line a loaf pan with parchment paper, and preheat the oven to 350.

Whisk together almond flour, coconut flour, baking powder and soda, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg, trying to get all the lumps (sift coconut flour if it’s super lump-tastic). In a smaller bowl, whisk together melted coconut oil, mashed bananas, eggs, and vanilla. Pour wet into dry and stir until just combined—the batter is thick, and almost a little ‘dry’, but it spreads out easily into a loaf pan. Top with shredded coconut, if using, and bake for 45 minutes until a tester comes out clean.

Use the parchment to lift it out onto a cooling rack, and let cool completely before wrapping in foil. It does best stored in the fridge!

Trash it up with anything you feel like. Chocolate? Peanut Butter? Ice cream? (I mean, obvi)… This banana bread is your oyster.

May 4, 2014

If life hands you lemons, you should obviously make lemon bars

LEMON BARS!

With MEYER LEMONS!!

Life doesn’t get much better than that.

Especially since we had a random little heat wave in the middle of last week. And of course, it hit Thursday and I immediately wanted cookies because apparently Thursday=cookies. But seeing as it was waaaayyy too hot for any normal person to want to even consider turning on the oven, I wisely opted for no bake, raw lemon bars. Because they took about thirty seconds to throw together and then all I had to do was shove them in the fridge for chill time until I ate them. Lazy lazy and very nearly instant cookie gratification. Wheee!!!

Also, I love lemon desserts but I’m wildly picky. For instance, I find most lemon loaf cakes to be waaaayy too sweet—almost cloying and definitely icky. I love lemon scones and lemon curd—both of those are usually a good balance of not too sweet and just sweet enough. These bars totally fall into that category too—they’re not overly tart, but neither are they stupid-sweet.

Besides all that, they also happen to be raw, vegan, gluten free, and refined sugar free! Sooo…. breakfast, anyone??

And really. Anything with Meyer lemons: sign me up. They are SO much more exciting than a regular lemon (although these bars would also be delicious with regular lemons, I’m sure). Lemons=spring! Perfect springy dessert/breakfast/feelgoodtreat/younameit/please eat it.

That being said, these take pretty much five minutes to make so you have nooooo excuses. Lemon bars!! With nearly instant gratification!! YAY! Do it.

Raw Meyer Lemon-Coconut Bars

Recipe lightly adapted from Pure Ella, here! Raw, vegan, no bake, gluten free, and refined sugar free. They’re full of healthy fats and whole grains… AND they’re delicious. Recipe makes about 9 squares—I did mine in an 8 by 8 pan, but I think next time I’ll use something smaller so there’s a better crust to icing ratio.

For the crust:

1/3 c almond flour
1/2 c rolled oats
1/2 c raw buckwheat groats
scant 1/4 tsp fine sea salt
3/4 c dates, pitted (and soaked if they’re hard)
3/4 c unsweetened, shredded coconut
1 tbsp pure maple syrup
fresh zest of one meyer lemon

For the icing:

1/4 c unrefined coconut oil
2 tbsp coconut butter
2 tbsp pure maple syrup
fresh juice of 1/2 a meyer lemon

Line your preferred pan with a parchment paper and set aside.

In a food processor, whiz together almond flour, oats, buckwheat, salt, dates, coconut, maple, and lemon zest until thoroughly mixed and blended (you’ll need to scrape the sides a bit). Upend the processor over your prepared pan, and pat the crust down with your hands until it’s evenly distributed.

In a microwave-safe bowl (or on the stove), melt coconut oil and maple syrup together. Once everything is fully melted, stir in coconut oil and stir until that melts as well. Set aside until this cools off a little, then stir in the lemon juice. Pour all this goodness over your prepared crust, and carefully transfer to the fridge to chill for at least an hour before cutting and serving. Keep it stored in the refrigerator, assuming there’s any left to store…

April 20, 2014April 21, 2014

Happy Peep-Eating Day!

Happy Chocolate-Bunny Eating Day!

Or something.

My dad and his brother started the day off by sending each other peep-eating photos. I guess that would make it Happy Peep-Eating-Day?! Or maybe it was a Peep-Off. Apparently my cousin was also photographed eating them, perhaps it’s a family affair? Whatever. The peep-eating trend obviously stops with me…sorry about that. Given that I absolutely abhor those nasty little piles of sugar-coated marshmallowy goop (nothing personal to the peep eaters out there, vacuum vati notwithstanding), I made this instead! Happy cake eating day to me! Because Easter=chocolate. Because…chocolate. Why do you even need a reason??

And then you add dates and bananas and coconut and more chocolate and mmmmm.

AND you omit the refined sugar and all that gunk. So really, I’m doing vacuum vati a favor by providing some balance to offset his peep-eating ways. Not that a peep (or ten) once a year is a bad thing…. just don’t blame me when you discover your insides are technicolor. Just sayin’.

And really. It’s Eater (I mean Easter, whoops. See??) so that means brunch and eggs benedict and cake and chocolate. Preferably chocolate before breakfast or chocolate ganache eaten with a finger spatula (don’t look at me like that. I know you’ve done it). Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, my Easter has included none of these things except a finger spatula (I did make cake, after all).

MY Easter started off at 5 am with toast… and then a sunrise service…and then shadow yoga studies at nine… and then a ravenous stuffing of basil-y and mushroom-y eggs into my face at 11:30 because I was ravenous after yoga and breakfast at 5; before which I had thrown a two layer cake together in twenty minutes. That is winning, that is. Oh. And I recently ate a truffle (salted caramel dark chocolate), courtesy of my mom who knows me SO well and put only intensely dark chocolate things and raw cocoa nibs in my Easter basket. Thanks mom!

Ramble ramble ramble…

CAKE!

Let’s move on.

Happy ~~eater~~ Easter! Enjoy your chocolate or cake or family or whatever it is that you happen to be doing. Whatever you do, please do yourself a favor and eat something delicious!

Also, one lasty little thingy…. happy 200th posts to me on my bloglet! You go, little bloglet. You’re so cute. I do rather adore you. Consider this a happy 200th-post cake celebration, hooray!

It's Easter. You get a flower! — It’s Easter. You get a flower!

Banana Date Layer Cake

This cake is not for the sweet-loving at heart, given that it is naturally sweetened and naturally not very sweet! But it IS good, so I would recommend it for those of you who either can’t or don’t eat refined sugar. It makes a dense, lightly sweet cake with a rich chocolate ganache. Despite being lightly sweet, it went over quite well for a mixed audience. I think it would be FAB with ice cream…It can be gluten free, if you choose, and it’s refined sugar free. Sub in maple for the honey in the ganache, and it becomes vegan. It’s also fairly easy to whip together, which is always nice. Recipe lightly adapted from Green Spirit Adventures, here! Serves… a lot. I fed this to a big family Easter dinner and we still have a few slices left over for Vacuum Vati’s breakfast.

Banana Layer

3 super-ripe bananas (the nastier looking, the better)
3 dates (soaked if needed)
6 tbsp unrefined coconut oil, melted
1/4 c unsweetened almond milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 c whole wheat pastry flour
1.5 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp fine sea salt

Cocoa-Date Layer

1.5 c unsweetened almond milk
8 dates (Soaked if needed)
6 tbsp unrefined coconut oil, melted
1 tsp almond extract
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 c whole wheat pastry flour
1/3 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 c coconut sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

Ganache

200 g dark chocolate (I used two 100 g bars of 73%), broken into smallish pieces
1 c unsweetened almond milk
1/2 tsp almond extract
1 tsp vanilla extract
3.5 tbsp tahini
2 tsp raw honey
a hefty pinch of sea salt

Garnish

unsweetened coconut
roughly chopped walnuts and pistachios
extra dark chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 and lightly grease two round 9″ cake pans. Bake the cakes at the same time for ease of everything…

For the banana layer. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl and set aside. Whiz everything else (bananas, dates, coconut oil, almond milk, vanilla extract) together in a food processor until mostly smooth. Toss wet into dry, and stir until just combined. The batter should be really thick—spread it evenly into the prepared pan rather than pouring it (good luck, it won’t pour..). Smooth the top and set aside until you finish the other layer.

For the cocoa date layer: Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, coconut sugar, cinnamon, baking soda and powder, and salt. Wash out your food processor, and whiz everything else together again (told you this was easy): almond milk, dates, coconut oil, almond and vanilla extracts. Wet into dry again, stir to combine again—this will also be a really thick batter, so spread it in evenly.

Bake both cakes at the same time for about 30 minutes (until a tester comes out clean)—my banana layer went for 30 and my cocoa layer for 35. Let cool until you can handle the cake pans, then turn them out to cool completely on a rack.

For frosting purposes, combine almond milk, almond extract, vanilla extract and tahini in a small saucepan over low heat. Once it’s warmed through, add the chocolate pieces and stir until completely melted (I turned off the heat after a few minutes but kept stirring). Stir in honey and salt.

Once all is said and done, find a cake plate… pick your bottom layer, then slap on a good layer of ganache on top of it. Pour a boatload of shredded coconut and chocolate chips into the middle, then slap on the second layer. Drizzle/pour/gratuitously indulge in being messy the rest of the ganache over the top and sides. The goal here is RUSTICATED! Top with chopped nuts, more chippies and coconut.

Glory in its beauty… then slice and eat. Happy Eater!!

March 28, 2014

Nutty shenanigans part deux

I’ve come to be known by two names.

Apparently wherever I go I’m either “Hayley-from-Yoga” or “the food girl”.

…

Not even surprised.

In.the.slightest.

But whateverrrrr, both are obnoxiously appropriate and I love both epithets. Because really. Yoga and food. OBVI. If you hang out with me on the regular, you’re laughing right about now. Right?! My life = yogafoodfoodyogayogafoodyogafood…

I am SO fine with that.

When I got back from my break yesterday, two of my coworkers go—“Oh hey, a woman came in for you today, asking if the food girl was working today!” Ahahaha. Genie pants and short hair and constant food discourse are obviously dead giveaways.

And also.

COOKIES!

Happy Friday, here are cookies in your inbox! Dark chocolate lovers and hazelnut nutters rejoice, these are so up your alley. I told you I was going to do something fab with that hazelnut butter I made the other day. And these are delicious little nuggets of slightly-salty-not-too-sweet-dark-chocolate-goodness. Mmm. Love, The Food Girl.

Okay bye. Time for…

Wait for it.

YOGA! You’re shocked, I know…

Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Cookies

I thought of these as kind of fudgy-crumbly. I liked the texture, though I generally prefer chewy cookies. I thought these would flatten out, but I chilled my dough in the freezer for 30 minutes, and they ended up as cute little puffy nuggets. Which is obviously fine, it’s a cookie now… let’s not get too picky. These are gluten free, paleo (probably), refined sugar free, and high in healthy fats and antioxidants! Not too sweet, since the focus is on really dark chocolate, but if that’s your jam, these are for you. Recipe lightly adapted from A Calculated Whisk, here! I made my own hazelnut-chocolate spread, so these don’t use anything processed. Yield: 12.

1 c homemade dark chocolate-hazelnut spread (recipe here)
3 tbsp tapioca flour/starch
2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
a pinch of fine sea salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 egg
generous 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 c extra dark chocolate chips

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

This really doesn’t get any easier. Stay with me now, if you blink you might miss something… In a large bowl, whisk together tapioca flour, cocoa powder, sea salt, and baking soda. Add in dark choc-hazelnut spread, egg and vanilla, and stir to combine. Toss in chocolate chips and make sure they’re evenlyish distributed.

Roll the dough into tablespoon size balls, and chill for 30 minutes in the freezer. Preheat the oven to 350.

Once dough is done chilling, transfer the dough balls to the prepared cookie sheet, and bake for 11-12 minutes, until the top is just set. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with a little extra sea salt. Let them cool on a rack, and store any leftovers in an airtight container.

See? I told you not to blink…

March 26, 2014

Nutty shenanigans involving chocolate

Hello!!

Happy Rainy Wednesday, wheee!!! I LOVE rain. So does my cat, apparently, since he spent the majority of the morning outside in it, little furry twit. And now he’s sitting on me and purring, all pleased with himself. And damp. I am apparently a fab kitty towel… (not that I mind. He’s adorable).

But anyway.

This morning I skinned hazelnuts and listened to really loud opera and the rain. The opera was L’elisir d’amore by Donizetti, one of my favorites. What did you do, invisible internet friends??

Why did I skin hazelnuts, you ask? Funny you should ask…

Because, THIS.

And then THIS.

And then all of this will become COOKIES as of tomorrow and well… it just obviously doesn’t get much better than that (Don’t fret. I will also share the cookies).

And also. Can I just say refined sugar free?! Yep. This is nutella. Except it isn’t, because it’s unprocessed and refined sugar free! Boomshakalaka. I just blew your mind, right? It’s okay, five minutes ago I blew mine too by tasting this. Just sit down for a minute, you’ll be fine. Deep breaths… Right. See? Now you feel recovered enough to trot into the kitchen and whip this up for yourself. Just be sure to hang onto at least a cup so you can have your mind blown all over again when I share the cookies for tomorrow.

You know what’s funny about hazelnuts? I absolutely love them, but the taste takes me back immediately to my trip to Europe when I was 10. At some point in Austria, I was given a couple of Mozart Balls (I kid you not, that’s what they’re called), which are these chocolate-hazelnut truffle thingies. And guess what. I disliked them with great intensity. Apparently, something about the nuts in chocolate combo really turned off my 10 year old self. But oddly enough, that prejudice didn’t stick around (thank goodness), and now I love hazelnuts with reckless abandon. ESPECIALLY when paired with chocolate. But that smell and taste totally takes me back to Europe. Not saying that’s a bad thing in the slightest..

But anyway. Hazelnuts!!! In CHOCOLATE!! Doesn’t get much better.

Also ps. The weather is doing that crazy spring thing where it’s SUNNY!!! and then it’s RAINING!!! and then it’s SUNNYYYY!! RAININGGGG!!! SUN! RAIN!SUNRAINSUNRAINSUNRAIN! You know exactly what I’m talking about… it really reminds me of the weather in Salem. I remember one particular day where it rained, was sunny, hailed, and I think probably snowed. All in one day. Don’t even ask. An umbrella becomes exceedingly useless at a certain point…

So anyway. Enjoy the nutty springtime weather and some homemade, garbage-free chocolatey hazelnutty goodness.

Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Spread

Recipe loosely adapted from Living Healthy with Chocolate, here! My batch yielded about a cup and half. Vegan (sub maple for honey), gluten free, refined sugar free, and paleo! Winner, winner. Also, if you’re allergic to/can’t have chocolate, this could be done with carob powder/carob chips.

2 c hazelnuts, dry roasted
3.5 tbsp dark chocolate, chopped (choose something above 70%–mine was 73%)
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp raw honey
1.5 tsp unrefined coconut oil*
2 tsp vanilla extract
a pinch of fine sea salt
3 tbsp unsweetened almond milk

*hate coconut? (though I’m not sure we can be friends if that’s the case…)(just kidding!) Use olive, avocado, hazelnut–whatever oil floats your boat.

Rub the skin off the hazelnuts using your palms. You can buy pre roasted ones, and most of the time the skin is already off 3/4ths of them, or you can roast your own for about 10 minutes at 350, then rub the skins off while they’re still warm. Either way, make sure almost all of the skin is removed. Toss the two cups of skinned hazelnuts into a food processor (or a vitamix, if you’re lucky), and process until they start to form a buttery consistency. You’ll probably have to scrape down the sides of the food processor a few times. This should yield a cup of nut butter—do try not to eat it all in advance since you need it later…

Using a double boiler, melt the dark chocolate until it’s completely melty. Take the double boiler off the heat, and stir in the hazelnut butter, cocoa powder, honey, coconut oil, vanilla, sea salt, and almond milk until smooth. Adjusting to your personal taste preferences is obviously totally acceptable.

Store in an airtight jar in the fridge. Mine will be going into cookies tomorrow (get ready for epicness in the next post), but I would assume it would stay good in the fridge for a week or two.