This is what happens when your tonsils rebel and you end up with…
TONSILLITIS.
So. RUDE.
Look what it made me do? I was feeling sorry for myself and this happened.
And I kind of thought it was pretty so I took lots of iPhone photos while I was becoming one with the couch. Which is so not my mo, I’m getting twitchy and this is only my first full day of antibiotics (which I hate but in some cases are obviously necessary).
Ughghghhghghg.
Thankfully things look a little better with a bowl of trashed up banana bread in front of you. I took a perfectly good-for-me loaf of grain free, refined sugar free banana bread and dumped a load of homemade chocolate hazelnut butter and vanilla ice cream on it. Because, obviously. I do not ever need to justify my ice cream but in this case I have tonsillitis and clearly everyone knows that tonsillitis=ice cream. There’s got to be an official rule written down somewhere that says that… right? Whatever. Just humor me, I’m sickly and cranky. And my banana bread is gone now so I can’t trash up any more of it.
Good thing I still have ice cream. I’ll have to just make do with that…
 Simple Grain Free Banana Bread
This is one of my favorites—it comes out with a great crumb, it’s moist but not soggy (ew, no one wants that), and it bakes up cleanly in less than an hour. Grain free+gluten free, refined sugar free (in fact, it doesn’t have any sweetener added at all, except banana), and paleo. Yay! I adapted the recipe from Peanut Butter Runner, here! Makes one loaf.
3/4 c almond flour
1/4 c coconut flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 tbsp unrefined coconut oil (measured when completely liquid)
3 medium-large, extremely ripe bananas, mashed
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
shredded unsweetened coconut for topping, optional
Line a loaf pan with parchment paper, and preheat the oven to 350.
Whisk together almond flour, coconut flour, baking powder and soda, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg, trying to get all the lumps (sift coconut flour if it’s super lump-tastic). In a smaller bowl, whisk together melted coconut oil, mashed bananas, eggs, and vanilla. Pour wet into dry and stir until just combined—the batter is thick, and almost a little ‘dry’, but it spreads out easily into a loaf pan. Top with shredded coconut, if using, and bake for 45 minutes until a tester comes out clean.
Use the parchment to lift it out onto a cooling rack, and let cool completely before wrapping in foil. It does best stored in the fridge!
Trash it up with anything you feel like. Chocolate? Peanut Butter? Ice cream? (I mean, obvi)… This banana bread is your oyster.
Especially since we had a random little heat wave in the middle of last week. And of course, it hit Thursday and I immediately wanted cookies because apparently Thursday=cookies. But seeing as it was waaaayyy too hot for any normal person to want to even consider turning on the oven, I wisely opted for no bake, raw lemon bars. Because they took about thirty seconds to throw together and then all I had to do was shove them in the fridge for chill time until I ate them. Lazy lazy and very nearly instant cookie gratification. Wheee!!!
Also, I love lemon desserts but I’m wildly picky. For instance, I find most lemon loaf cakes to be waaaayy too sweet—almost cloying and definitely icky. I love lemon scones and lemon curd—both of those are usually a good balance of not too sweet and just sweet enough. These bars totally fall into that category too—they’re not overly tart, but neither are they stupid-sweet.
Besides all that, they also happen to be raw, vegan, gluten free, and refined sugar free! Sooo…. breakfast, anyone??
And really. Anything with Meyer lemons: sign me up. They are SO much more exciting than a regular lemon (although these bars would also be delicious with regular lemons, I’m sure). Lemons=spring! Perfect springy dessert/breakfast/feelgoodtreat/younameit/please eat it.
That being said, these take pretty much five minutes to make so you have nooooo excuses. Lemon bars!! With nearly instant gratification!! YAY! Do it.
Raw Meyer Lemon-Coconut Bars
Recipe lightly adapted from Pure Ella, here! Raw, vegan, no bake, gluten free, and refined sugar free. They’re full of healthy fats and whole grains… AND they’re delicious. Recipe makes about 9 squares—I did mine in an 8 by 8 pan, but I think next time I’ll use something smaller so there’s a  better crust to icing ratio.
For the crust:
1/3 c almond flour
1/2 c rolled oats
1/2 c raw buckwheat groats
scant 1/4 tsp fine sea salt
3/4 c dates, pitted (and soaked if they’re hard)
3/4 c unsweetened, shredded coconut
1 tbsp pure maple syrup
fresh zest of one meyer lemon
For the icing:
1/4 c unrefined coconut oil
2 tbsp coconut butter
2 tbsp pure maple syrup
fresh juice of 1/2 a meyer lemon
Line your preferred pan with a parchment paper and set aside.
In a food processor, whiz together almond flour, oats, buckwheat, salt, dates, coconut, maple, and lemon zest until thoroughly mixed and blended (you’ll need to scrape the sides a bit). Upend the processor over your prepared pan, and pat the crust down with your hands until it’s evenly distributed.
In a microwave-safe bowl (or on the stove), melt coconut oil and maple syrup together. Once everything is fully melted, stir in coconut oil and stir until that melts as well. Set aside until this cools off a little, then stir in the lemon juice. Pour all this goodness over your prepared crust, and carefully transfer to the fridge to chill for at least an hour before cutting and serving. Keep it stored in the refrigerator, assuming there’s any left to store…
Wait. Do I really have to answer that question?! Because… chocolate! End of story.
Besides, I actually made these cookies over a week ago but I’ve just been too busy and then Easter happened and there was that fabulously drippy hippie cake and stuff… and these cookies kind of languished in my camera for a little bit but they were SO FREAKING GOOD that I knew I would share them eventually. So don’t worry. I promise not to hold out on you too much longer.
In other news… IT’S RAINING! Wheeeee!!! Which means I really want to bake something (because rainy weather=baking, everyone knows that), but as per usual I made a small batch of cookies last night because I was seriously (my autocorrect tried to change that to serially, also true) jonesing and I neededcookiesnow. So I made this awesome batch of vegan peanut butter-coconut-chocolate chippies, and they disappeared by 9:30 pm. I made them at 4:30. Ha. I did have quite a bit of help though, as prodigious as my stomach capacities are, I think that would have stumped even me.
But anyway, I really like cookies, can you tell?
Also. I float in a hydrotherapy/sensory deprivation tank several times a week and even though I shower off really thoroughly afterwards, I always end up with epsom salts in my ear crannies the next day. I think it gets into my brain and then somehow works its way back out. I’m not really complaining, a good solid brain salting can’t be a bad thing now and then…
Soooo yeah. I’m endearingly random and salty but these cookies are ridiculously delicious—I highly suggest a cookie Friday incident. And if you make them, bring me one?! I’ve seem to have eaten all of mine…
Grain-Free Chocolate Pecan Cookies
These are a little sweeter than the cookies I usually make for everyday consumption, but they are SO DELICIOUS. Fudgy, chocoaltey, pecantastic and they just happen to be gluten free, grain free, and vegan. AND refined sugar free! Winner winner. I adapted the recipe only slightly from The Healthy Family and Home, here! Yield: 22 cookies.
1 c organic almond butter (mine was creamy unsalted)
heaping 1/3 c coconut sugar
1/4 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
3/4 c extra dark chocolate chips
1/2 c roughly chopped pecans
2 tbsp ground flax+6 tbsp water (2 flax eggs)
Preheat the oven to 350, and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
These are cookies, peeps: this doesn’t get any easier!
In a small bowl, stir together flax seeds and water. Let sit while you do everything else: in a large bowl and using your biceps, stir together almond butter, coconut sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, salt, chocolate chips and pecans. Toss in flax eggs. Drop by the rounded spoonful onto the prepared cookie sheet, and bake for 10 minutes. Let cool on the baking sheet for a few, then move them to a cooling rack to cool completely. These are a little soft when cooling, so I just moved the whole parchment paper over and let them keep cooling completely on the rack. Store in the fridge, if they last long enough! Mine barely did…
My dad and his brother started the day off by sending each other peep-eating photos. I guess that would make it Happy Peep-Eating-Day?! Or maybe it was a Peep-Off. Apparently my cousin was also photographed eating them, perhaps it’s a family affair? Whatever. The peep-eating trend obviously stops with me…sorry about that. Given that I absolutely abhor those nasty little piles of sugar-coated marshmallowy goop (nothing personal to the peep eaters out there, vacuum vati notwithstanding), I made this instead! Happy cake eating day to me! Because Easter=chocolate. Because…chocolate. Why do you even need a reason??
And then you add dates and bananas and coconut and more chocolate and mmmmm.
AND you omit the refined sugar and all that gunk. So really, I’m doing vacuum vati a favor by providing some balance to offset his peep-eating ways. Not that a peep (or ten) once a year is a bad thing…. just don’t blame me when you discover your insides are technicolor. Just sayin’.
And really. It’s Eater (I mean Easter, whoops. See??) so that means brunch and eggs benedict and cake and chocolate. Preferably chocolate before breakfast or chocolate ganache eaten with a finger spatula (don’t look at me like that. I know you’ve done it). Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, my Easter has included none of these things except a finger spatula (I did make cake, after all).
MY Easter started off at 5 am with toast… and then a sunrise service…and then shadow yoga studies at nine… and then a ravenous stuffing of basil-y and mushroom-y eggs into my face at 11:30 because I was ravenous after yoga and breakfast at 5; before which I had thrown a two layer cake together in twenty minutes. That is winning, that is. Oh. And I recently ate a truffle (salted caramel dark chocolate), courtesy of my mom who knows me SO well and put only intensely dark chocolate things and raw cocoa nibs in my Easter basket. Thanks mom!
Ramble ramble ramble…
CAKE!
Let’s move on.
Happy eater Easter! Enjoy your chocolate or cake or family or whatever it is that you happen to be doing. Whatever you do, please do yourself a favor and eat something delicious!
Also, one lasty little thingy…. happy 200th posts to me on my bloglet! You go, little bloglet. You’re so cute. I do rather adore you. Consider this a happy 200th-post cake celebration, hooray!
It’s Easter. You get a flower!
Banana Date Layer Cake
This cake is not for the sweet-loving at heart, given that it is naturally sweetened and naturally not very sweet! But it IS good, so I would recommend it for those of you who either can’t or don’t eat refined sugar. It makes a dense, lightly sweet cake with a rich chocolate ganache. Despite being lightly sweet, it went over quite well for a mixed audience. I think it would be FAB with ice cream…It can be gluten free, if you choose, and it’s refined sugar free. Sub in maple for the honey in the ganache, and it becomes vegan. It’s also fairly easy to whip together, which is always nice. Recipe lightly adapted from Green Spirit Adventures, here! Serves… a lot. I fed this to a big family Easter dinner and we still have a few slices left over for Vacuum Vati’s breakfast.
Banana Layer
3 super-ripe bananas (the nastier looking, the better)
3 dates (soaked if needed)
6 tbsp unrefined coconut oil, melted
1/4 c unsweetened almond milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 c whole wheat pastry flour
1.5 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
Cocoa-Date Layer
1.5 c unsweetened almond milk
8 dates (Soaked if needed)
6 tbsp unrefined coconut oil, melted
1 tsp almond extract
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 c whole wheat pastry flour
1/3 c unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 c coconut sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
Ganache
200 g dark chocolate (I used two 100 g bars of 73%), broken into smallish pieces
1 c unsweetened almond milk
1/2 tsp almond extract
1 tsp vanilla extract
3.5 tbsp tahini
2 tsp raw honey
a hefty pinch of sea salt
Garnish
unsweetened coconut
roughly chopped walnuts and pistachios
extra dark chocolate chips
Preheat the oven to 350 and lightly grease two round 9″ cake pans. Bake the cakes at the same time for ease of everything…
For the banana layer. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl and set aside. Whiz everything else (bananas, dates, coconut oil, almond milk, vanilla extract) together in a food processor until mostly smooth. Toss wet into dry, and stir until just combined. The batter should be really thick—spread it evenly into the prepared pan rather than pouring it (good luck, it won’t pour..). Smooth the top and set aside until you finish the other layer.
For the cocoa date layer: Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, coconut sugar, cinnamon, baking soda and powder, and salt. Wash out your food processor, and whiz everything else together again (told you this was easy): almond milk, dates, coconut oil, almond and vanilla extracts. Wet into dry again, stir to combine again—this will also be a really thick batter, so spread it in evenly.
Bake both cakes at the same time for about 30 minutes (until a tester comes out clean)—my banana layer went for 30 and my cocoa layer for 35. Let cool until you can handle the cake pans, then turn them out to cool completely on a rack.
For frosting purposes, combine almond milk, almond extract, vanilla extract and tahini in a small saucepan over low heat. Once it’s warmed through, add the chocolate pieces and stir until completely melted (I turned off the heat after a few minutes but kept stirring). Stir in honey and salt.
Once all is said and done, find a cake plate… pick your bottom layer, then slap on a good layer of ganache on top of it. Pour a boatload of shredded coconut and chocolate chips into the middle, then slap on the second layer. Drizzle/pour/gratuitously indulge in being messy the rest of the ganache over the top and sides. The goal here is RUSTICATED! Top with chopped nuts, more chippies and coconut.
Glory in its beauty… then slice and eat. Happy Eater!!
I really freaking love kelp noodles like WAY TOO MUCH.
I want to eat them all day, every day.
Which is weird, given that they pretty much taste like… nothing. It’s like eating noodley nothing.
So maybe… I’m really obsessed with the almond butter sauce. Realistically that’s probably it, given my history of obsession with anything nut butter related. Sheesh. I’m so predictable.
Whatever. Kelp noodles+almond butter = AMAZING.
But actually this post is about banana bread. Um. Non sequitur? Sorry, I was just really excited about my leftovers for lunch today… and I’ve been working too much and my I think I lost my brain somewhere between my last six days of work in a row and here. Has anyone seen it? It’s lumpy.. and grey…
Right. Anyway. Banana bread. Not just any banana bread though—this is grain free, refined sugar free, and has CHOCOLATE in it. So I mean, obviously. What are you doing still standing there?? Why aren’t you in your kitchen making this immediately?
Good. I see you trotting off towards your bowls. My pictures have apparently had their desired effect…
Sorry if there’s drool on your keyboard, I take no personal responsibility for that.
This went over quite well with its audience: dense with a  good crumb, equal parts chocolatey and bananay… not too sweet but just sweet enough. Excellent with ice cream, if I do say.
Grain Free Swirled Chocolate Banana Bread
Recipe adapted from My little jar of spices, here! Yield: 1 loaf. Grain free, gluten free, refined sugar free.
3 very ripe bananas (the blacker and more disgusting the better), about 2 cups mashed
2 c almond flour
1/3 c ground flaxseed
1.5 tsp baking soda
3 tbsp salted butter, melted
2 tbsp raw honey
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 oz extra dark chocolate, 70% or above
2 tbsp coconut oil
3/4 c pecans, chopped
1 tsp raw honey
Grease a loaf pan (I use coconut oil), and preheat the oven to 350.
In a largeish bowl, whisk together almond flour, flaxseed, and baking soda. Set aside. In a small saucepan over low heat, melt butter and honey together until incorporated, stirring constantly until the mixture is a bit thickened. Remove from heat. In a medium bowl, mash the bananas until you get most of the lumps out. Whisk in egg and vanilla, followed by the butter-honey mix. Whisk to combine. Pour all of this biz into the dry ingredients, and stir until just combined.
In a microwave safe bowl, melt dark chocolate and coconut oil together, stirring occasionally. I usually do mine on 30 second bursts, stirring in between. Divide out half of the batter and stir in the chocolate.
Drop the batter into the loaf pan, alternating between chocolate and banana. I used heaping spoonfuls of each, swirling the tops sightly as I went (really, there is no wrong way to do this. Pretend it’s art!). In a small bowl, combine 1 tsp honey and chopped pecans until mixed. Toss this evenly on top of the batter, spreading it out so it’s all even and pretty. Bake for 45-50 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean. (Mine was perfect at 50) Let cool in the pan completely, and store in the refrigerator. I just left mine in the pan for 3 days, and it was totally fine.
And so does Cookie Thursday. Or okay fiiiiine…. cookie Wednesday. Picky picky.
I haven’t posted a good, rustic chunktastic cookie in awhile but these are pretty fantastic. And sort of sorry (except not really) that the last eleventy posts have all featured cookies. My savory life these days is a little lacking, sadly, due to ridiculous scheduling (sort of my fault, sort of not) soooo… yeah. At least I have cookies! Life is really lame if you don’t have cookies, trust me on that one.
And well, cookies.
Because, Thursday.
And look! I just can’t help it. Once a mermaid, always a mermaid. Beachy weekend day off= happy happy happy!
I’m feeling slightly less than coherent at the moment—I just came from jazzercise and then pounded down some toast (hello, enthusiastic and energetic dancing requires immediate carb replenishment, obviously) and now it’s only 10:45 and I already want lunch. Um. Hello, stomach? You’re not being very cost effective right now. Kind of like when you make me so starving at work that I eat ALL of my food on my first break and then that apparently doesn’t make a dent so then I have to go scrounge up some other victuals. As I said.. Not cost effective. But also, I like eating… so really, maybe we can come to some middle ground here…
Like lunch. At 11. Ha.
Oaty Coconut Almond Cookies
Recipe lightly adapted from Curly Girl Kitchen, here! Thick, chewy cookies filled with oats and coconut. They have a fab almond taste from the almond butter and extract, so if almond is your jam these are for you. Whole grain, refined sugar free, and gluten free. I made a half batch for a yield of 12 [measurements for the half batch posted here].
1/4 c smooth, unsalted almond butter
1/6 c maple syrup
1 tbsp melted coconut oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp almond extract
1 egg
1 c rolled oats
1/2 + 1/8 c almond flour
1/4 c unsweetened coconut
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg
heaping 1/4 tsp fine sea salt
1/4 c dark chocolate chips
Preheat the oven to 350 and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a large bowl, vigorously whisk together almond butter, maple, coconut oil, vanilla extract, almond extract, and egg. In a smaller bowl, combine oats, almond flour, coconut, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, and sea salt. Stir wet into dry until combined, and fold in chocolate chips.
Drop by the large spoonful onto the prepared cookie sheet. These won’t spread too much, so feel free to cram them all on there. Bake for 8 minutes, then let cool on the cookie sheet for a minute or two. Remove them to a cooling rack until they cool completely. Store them in an airtight container, if they last that long…
This has absolutely nothing to do with cookies but just illustrates how I’m really like five years old. Ice cream is not complete without rainbow sprinkles, everyone knows that…
Mooooore coooookies!! Because really. Do I even need to justify this?! You can never have too many cookies. It’s also Cookie Thursday so, um, HELLO it wouldn’t be Cookie Thursday unless there were cookies. Obvi.
Incidentally I also made some bomb paleo banana bread except that it freaking stuck all over the inside of the pan and now I have a very misshapen and structurally unsound loaf. It is, however, extremely tasty. So, no complaints. Besides, I got to eat the bits that stuck all over everywhere, so I’m obviously not complaining.
You see? Totally not up to seismic code.
I think I have chocolate on my face somewhere.
I haven’t looked in a mirror to ascertain this for certain, but somehow I am quite sure there’s a smear somewhere. Apparently this is standard protocol around here, chocolate-on-face. And on my camera, apparently. I’ve just discovered that as well.
Yes well.. moving on.
Considering I got an enormous batch of florentines and a loaf of banana bread in and out of the oven in about an hour, I am suitably impressed with myself. Quite a productive day, I must say. I located shoes for a June 1st wedding I’m in (wheeee!!!), and made things. And ate a really really delicious salad and some brussels. And now I essentially just want banana bread for dinner. That’s acceptable, isn’t it?? I’m an adult. Surely I can make these educated decisions for myself…
Chocolate Pecan Florentines
Recipe adapted from Brave Tart, here! Yield: 43 cookies [aka an effton]. Thin, crispy-chewy, chocolately, nutty, and sweet. These are… delicious. And not particularly good for you. But hey, life is short and there is NO TIME for anything that isn’t delicious. So make these and eat them and be happy for eating them. And yes… you’re going to have to get out a scale. Soooorrryyyy but sometimes I have to get all technical on you.
12 ounces whole pecans
4 ounces extra dark chocolate chips
6 ounces whole wheat pastry flour
1 ounce unsweetened cocoa powder
8 ounces coconut oil
3.75 ounces raw honey
8 ounces coconut sugar
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
2 tsp finely ground espresso (mine was decaf)
1 tbsp vanilla extract
Line 4 baking sheets with parchment paper (or two, if you’re planning on rotating). And don’t even THINK about skipping the paper. You will hate life in about a half an hour. Preheat the oven to 350.
In the food processor, combine pecans and chocolate chips, and pulse until all the largish chunks are gone. It should be chunky though, not finely ground. Dump all this into a bowl, and add flour and cocoa powder. Stir to combine.
In a medium saucepan, heat coconut oil and honey until liquified. Stir in sugar, salt, and espresso. Bring this to a boil, stirring frequently to ensure the sugar is dissolving. Remove from heat once the sugar has gotten thicker—only a few minutes for me. It should smell like caramel! Stir in vanilla. Let this cool for a few minutes, then pour it into the dry ingredients. Stir to combine.
Drop dough by the tablespoon onto the prepared cookie sheets, leaving enough room between the cookies for them to spread (I got 12 to a cookie sheet). Bake for 13-15 minutes (Mine went more like 15), then remove from the oven and let cool completely on the cookie sheet. I was lazy and left mine irregularly shaped, but feel free to make them perfectly circular with a cutter.
Store in an airtight container. I will most likely store mine in the fridge.
Apparently wherever I go I’m either “Hayley-from-Yoga” or “the food girl”.
…
Not even surprised.
In.the.slightest.
But whateverrrrr, both are obnoxiously appropriate and I love both epithets. Because really. Yoga and food. OBVI. If you hang out with me on the regular, you’re laughing right about now. Right?! My life = yogafoodfoodyogayogafoodyogafood…
I am SO fine with that.
When I got back from my break yesterday, two of my coworkers go—“Oh hey, a woman came in for you today, asking if the food girl was working today!” Ahahaha. Genie pants and short hair and constant food discourse are obviously dead giveaways.
And also.
COOKIES!
Happy Friday, here are cookies in your inbox! Dark chocolate lovers and hazelnut nutters rejoice, these are so up your alley. I told you I was going to do something fab with that hazelnut butter I made the other day. And these are delicious little nuggets of slightly-salty-not-too-sweet-dark-chocolate-goodness. Mmm. Love, The Food Girl.
Okay bye. Time for…
Wait for it.
YOGA! You’re shocked, I know…
Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Cookies
I thought of these as kind of fudgy-crumbly. I liked the texture, though I generally prefer chewy cookies. I thought these would flatten out, but I chilled my dough in the freezer for 30 minutes, and they ended up as cute little puffy nuggets. Which is obviously fine, it’s a cookie now… let’s not get too picky. These are gluten free, paleo (probably), refined sugar free, and high in healthy fats and antioxidants! Not too sweet, since the focus is on really dark chocolate, but if that’s your jam, these are for you. Recipe lightly adapted from A Calculated Whisk, here! I made my own hazelnut-chocolate spread, so these don’t use anything processed. Yield: 12.
1 c homemade dark chocolate-hazelnut spread (recipe here)
3 tbsp tapioca flour/starch
2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
a pinch of fine sea salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 egg
generous 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 c extra dark chocolate chips
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
This really doesn’t get any easier. Stay with me now, if you blink you might miss something… In a large bowl, whisk together tapioca flour, cocoa powder, sea salt, and baking soda. Add in dark choc-hazelnut spread, egg and vanilla, and stir to combine. Toss in chocolate chips and make sure they’re evenlyish distributed.
Roll the dough into tablespoon size balls, and chill for 30 minutes in the freezer. Preheat the oven to 350.
Once dough is done chilling, transfer the dough balls to the prepared cookie sheet, and bake for 11-12 minutes, until the top is just set. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with a little extra sea salt. Let them cool on a rack, and store any leftovers in an airtight container.
Happy Rainy Wednesday, wheee!!! I LOVE rain. So does my cat, apparently, since he spent the majority of the morning outside in it, little furry twit. And now he’s sitting on me and purring, all pleased with himself. And damp. I am apparently a fab kitty towel… (not that I mind. He’s adorable).
But anyway.
This morning I skinned hazelnuts and listened to really loud opera and the rain. The opera was L’elisir d’amore by Donizetti, one of my favorites. What did you do, invisible internet friends??
Why did I skin hazelnuts, you ask? Funny you should ask…
Because, THIS.
And then THIS.
And then all of this will become COOKIES as of tomorrow and well… it just obviously doesn’t get much better than that (Don’t fret. I will also share the cookies).
And also. Can I just say refined sugar free?! Yep. This is nutella. Except it isn’t, because it’s unprocessed and refined sugar free! Boomshakalaka. I just blew your mind, right? It’s okay, five minutes ago I blew mine too by tasting this. Just sit down for a minute, you’ll be fine. Deep breaths… Right. See? Now you feel recovered enough to trot into the kitchen and whip this up for yourself. Just be sure to hang onto at least a cup so you can have your mind blown all over again when I share the cookies for tomorrow.
You know what’s funny about hazelnuts? I absolutely love them, but the taste takes me back immediately to my trip to Europe when I was 10. At some point in Austria, I was given a couple of Mozart Balls (I kid you not, that’s what they’re called), which are these chocolate-hazelnut truffle thingies. And guess what. I disliked them with great intensity. Apparently, something about the nuts in chocolate combo really turned off my 10 year old self. But oddly enough, that prejudice didn’t stick around (thank goodness), and now I love hazelnuts with reckless abandon. ESPECIALLY when paired with chocolate. But that smell and taste totally takes me back to Europe. Not saying that’s a bad thing in the slightest..
But anyway. Hazelnuts!!! In CHOCOLATE!! Doesn’t get much better.
Also ps. The weather is doing that crazy spring thing where it’s SUNNY!!! and then it’s RAINING!!! and then it’s SUNNYYYY!! RAININGGGG!!! SUN! RAIN!SUNRAINSUNRAINSUNRAIN! You know exactly what I’m talking about… it really reminds me of the weather in Salem. I remember one particular day where it rained, was sunny, hailed, and I think probably snowed. All in one day. Don’t even ask. An umbrella becomes exceedingly useless at a certain point…
So anyway. Enjoy the nutty springtime weather and some homemade, garbage-free chocolatey hazelnutty goodness.
Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Spread
Recipe loosely adapted from Living Healthy with Chocolate, here! My batch yielded about a cup and half. Vegan (sub maple for honey), gluten free, refined sugar free, and paleo! Winner, winner. Also, if you’re allergic to/can’t have chocolate, this could be done with carob powder/carob chips.
2 c hazelnuts, dry roasted
3.5 tbsp dark chocolate, chopped (choose something above 70%–mine was 73%)
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp raw honey
1.5 tsp unrefined coconut oil*
2 tsp vanilla extract
a pinch of fine sea salt
3 tbsp unsweetened almond milk
*hate coconut? (though I’m not sure we can be friends if that’s the case…)(just kidding!) Use olive, avocado, hazelnut–whatever oil floats your boat.
Rub the skin off the hazelnuts using your palms. You can buy pre roasted ones, and most of the time the skin is already off 3/4ths of them, or you can roast your own for about 10 minutes at 350, then rub the skins off while they’re still warm. Either way, make sure almost all of the skin is removed. Toss the two cups of skinned hazelnuts into a food processor (or a vitamix, if you’re lucky), and process until they start to form a buttery consistency. You’ll probably have to scrape down the sides of the food processor a few times. This should yield a cup of nut butter—do try not to eat it all in advance since you need it later…
Using a double boiler, melt the dark chocolate until it’s completely melty. Take the double boiler off the heat, and stir in the hazelnut butter, cocoa powder, honey, coconut oil, vanilla, sea salt, and almond milk until smooth. Adjusting to your personal taste preferences is obviously totally acceptable.
Store in an airtight jar in the fridge. Mine will be going into cookies tomorrow (get ready for epicness in the next post), but I would assume it would stay good in the fridge for a week or two.
Happy Cookie Thursday (which is almost Friday and therefore almost the weekend)!!!
It also happened to be genie pant Thursday. Whatever. My Thursday needed a little sparkle and purple genie pants were obviously the apparel of choice for work.
So anyway, cookies.
I was in a sorority in college. Or rather, I still am a member of said sorority, but I lived in the house for two years during my undergrad. I know, I know. You’re shocked. YOU, you say?? My hippie-granola-genie-pant-wearing self in a sorority?! Yep. Better believe it. Thankfully, Willamette is teensy and liberal arts, and therefore has a really different (in a good way) Greek system. My house was full of eclecticaly hilarious and awesome individuals, so I fit right in.
But… what does this have to do with cookies? Well actually… I seem to have retained an ingrained habit of cookies on Thursdays. And for this, I can blame thank living in the house. Our chef made cookies at lunch every Thursday the two years I lived in, and after I moved out my senior year, I sort of kept that up (although I made them probably way more frequently than just once a week, let’s be real here). But nowadays, I seem to have fallen back into the Thursday routine! Which is fab, because if you think about it, Thursdays are a perfect day for cookies. Because it’s not quite Friday and the weekend, and you might need a little pick me up or something, you know? What better than a cookie? And then besides, once the batch is gone, it’s weekend time! Hooray!
Mine shall tide me over until I leave on my yoga retreat this weekend, ahhhh… or rather, let’s make that ommmmm….
Triple Threat Almond Cookies
Thick and a little chewy-crumbly, these cookies are lightly sweet and salty. They remind me a little of salted almond-chocolate, but minus the chocolate (sorry if that makes no sense at all). Gluten free, vegan, refined sugar free, and full of healthy fats. Yield: 10 cookies. I adapted the recipe from La Gallette, here!
1.5 c almond flour
1/4 tsp fine grain sea salt
1/4 tsp baking powder
2 tbsp maple syrup, grade B
2.5 tbsp melted unrefined coconut oil
2 tbsp unsalted almond butter
1 tsp vanilla extract
scant 1/4 tsp almond extract
1/3 c raw almonds, roughly chopped
This is maybe the easiest thing ever. Preheat the oven to 350, and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Toss in wet ingredients, and stir to combine, followed by the almonds. The dough doesn’t come together like a typical cookie dough, but you should be able to form balls of it when you squash it together. Roll into about a tablespoon-sized ball, flatten slightly, and place on the cookie sheet. Repeat… obviously… and try not to eat all the dough (which is fab, by the way). Bake for 12 minutes, let cool on the sheet for a minute, then move to a cooling rack. They’re a little crumbly, so be aware when you’re moving them. Mine have all disappeared so I can’t really speak to how well they store… but I usually store things made of almond flour in the fridge if they’re going to hang around for awhile.
 Simple Grain Free Banana Bread
Wait...are those...cookies?! 